LDSAR.org Posts

Two Week Cycle

3/12/2010 11:55:57 AM

Who said something about a two week cycle? Does the tempter/urge seem to come with force to men every two weeks, whether you have a healthy, active, physically intimate relationship with your wife or not?

The tempter was here 12 days ago, based on my last post. Today, I am tempted sorely again. I will not fail this time, either. I have read my plan from last time, and I will follow it again this time. Pray, tell wife, get help, go read, get back to work.

Thanks

3/12/2010 9:30:18 AM

Thanks for the kind words guys, it means a lot.

OK to respond to BECLEAN, I first became addicted as a child, but the real problems kicked in at age 11. I have no idea why I was ever called as a Bishop. I have served in various positions but I can testify that whom the Lord calls he qualifies. I was working hard with my Bishop at the time (I was his first counselor). So he knew my challenges and problems. In fact I would say that he had no idea as did I of the magnitude of the addicti...

Me too

3/12/2010 8:18:12 AM

I too agree with beclean. Helpme, you don't have time to play with temptation. You are at the doors of temptation and if you linger around them you might find yourself entering.

Yes

3/12/2010 8:14:53 AM

I completely agree with beclean. Satan is at your door step.

Great post, Finallyfree.

3/12/2010 1:34:08 AM

Thanks

Finding Peace

3/11/2010 8:35:39 PM

RUGGAEXPAT, welcome and congratulations on taking the first steps to recovery. I too recently realized the extent of my addiction and began working the 12-step program. Confessing to my wife was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it's been an essential part of my recovery.

You asked a great question, "How do we surrender our whole selves to the Lord and really mean it wholeheartedly?" Everyone is different, and there are many paths to surrender. My biggest problem has been ...

BE CAREFUL

3/11/2010 6:18:45 PM

Dear Helpme,

You know that a few of us have read all of your posts and commented on almost every one. We are here for you, we pray for you. We want you to do what is right, to put God first, to overcome your problem, and to have the Spirit in your life. We want you to be happy. And we want you to get married in the temple--to the right person, at the right time. You want all of that for yourself, too.

You have often felt very unworthy of your boyfriend. We have told y...

Welcome

3/11/2010 5:01:44 PM

Dear Ruggaexpat,

Welcome to our "team." It's excellent you have taken the first step towards battling this problem: Honesty. I'm convinced it's the first step for a reason. You cannot even begin to win the battle until you are completely honest with yourself, your spouse, your bishop, God, and a few other people. Keep going, keep working, and keep coming back.

I know it happens, but I have to ask: how does someone with a 20-year porn addiction serve as bishop? Do you k...

not a problem

3/11/2010 10:44:22 AM

I actually heard once that bishops were blessed with forgetting your sins. Especially if you have repented. You should feel good he forgot about yours, that means he is not holding on to them. When you go in talk about your progress or get a blessing, because the bishop is really just the middle man. He is your helper to help you to know how to repent but he is not there to remember your sins and hold them to you.
I do know what it is like to have a bishop that doesn't care and trust me, ...

Don't be discouraged

3/11/2010 12:05:06 AM

I understand how you feel about your bishop not remembering you and speaking with you before. Maybe that is true or maybe your bishop is just awkward when it comes to dealing with females and mb. Regardless of what the truth really is, don't let that discourage you on your path to repentance.
It is very easy for people to think poorly of themselves when they commit sin. It is natural for us to feel remorseful and want to make things right. Satan has a very sneaky way of making us feel like...

Candeo

3/10/2010 4:41:23 PM

It sounds to me like you are just what they call 'white knuckling it' You might want to try to focus on trying to change yourself instead of just not doing it. I am not very good at explaining it but there is a program called Candeo that is really good at explaining. Check it out. http://candeocan.com/

Wait a minute

3/10/2010 2:38:19 PM

He has had sexual intercourse in between you being together? As in, you were together, then you weren't and during that time he had sex, then you got back together? He was then disfellowshipped. Is he still disfellowshipped, this day? Girl, if you guys are having the same problems, that could be a situation that will lead to sexual misconduct. EspeciallY, ESPECIALLY if you guys already know your history too and you both have the same current issue.

Medication for Addiction

3/10/2010 9:01:41 AM

Thanks, TenesseeGal. I believe seeking medication for ADHD is good counsel for those so affected.

In my opinion, I think it's very likely that medication could one day help "cure" addiction for all those who want to be cured.

On a scientific level (and science IS a valid form of knowledge), what is a physical addiction, other than a chemical need or dependency? If medication can reset the chemical balance of a person so he (or she) no longer needs his "drug" for chemical ...

Rules

3/10/2010 1:29:02 AM

Very interesting. My wife and I had a similar conversation before we were married, and I thought I was confessing to someone who wouldn't understand (and I was worried she would break up with me). But I found out she had made many of the same mistakes I had. In a perfect world, we'd all make it to marriage with a clean record, but it doesn't work that way for everyone. My wife is the best thing that's ever happened to me. She's been supportive through the ups and downs of my addiction and has he...

This is great!

3/9/2010 11:50:00 PM

This is why it's nice to fellowship with others. Any info that can help others is always appreciated. Thanks TenesseeGal

thanks!

3/9/2010 8:50:12 PM

Interesting... Thanks for the reading material.

Thanks!

3/8/2010 11:16:04 PM

Thank you anonymous! I really appreciate your in-sight. I think trusting in the Lord has a lot to do with divulging personal information. Listening to the spirit is a big part of recovery. I like the suggestion to quote yourself... I may use it. Thanks!

Hitting Bottom

3/8/2010 7:28:23 PM

There have been several times throughout my 20-year addiction when I've hit bottom, and typically those times are followed by extended periods of sobriety. But, sadly, over time I tend to forget the real pain of addiction and eventually relapse. For me, the pain is only real when I'm feeling it, and it isn't an effective tool to prevent future recurrence.

What is an effective tool, though, is change--real, lasting change. It begins slowly, as I crawl out of yet another "rock bottom" e...

J89,

3/7/2010 2:35:10 AM

I hope you're doing well, and I agree with the other comments that say you shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

One thing you said really caught my attention. You asked, "How do I remind myself of the feeling I have after failure. That never comes up when I'm being tempted. How do I bring it up so I remember not to do that?"

I've wondered the exact same thing and the best answer I've come up in my own situation is that I simply cannot think about the consequences of my action...

You're not alone.

3/6/2010 1:40:39 PM

Sometimes it just feels better to know that there are other people out there struggling with the same addiction. The solution is out there. Relatively few take advantage of it. It's found in the churches ARP and PASG programs, and also in Sexaholics Anonymous. The Twelve Steps were created and handed down through generations unitl they officially recieved the General Bishoprics stamp of approval as the "authorized" and recommended program of recovery for pornography addiction. I hope you ta...