By They Speak
6/15/2010 5:19:43 AM
Well I broke things off with my mistress...

Feels oddly refreshing. Like coming out of the smoke and clouds. Obviously there is a lot to clean up after droping those bombs on myself and my family and friends but I'm just suprized at the fresh air. Bazzar. I'd almost say I feel hopfull. Pff, that's almost laughable to consider...but I do. Supose it means im on the right track or the Spirit is playing hot cold with me and im at least geting warmer. I just feel like I can, or its a possibility to, think striaght/clear for the first time in...forever.


"Any step in the right direction deserves a cheer. Congratulations! I believe that as long as you are still alive, there IS hope, thanks to the love and blood of Jesus. I am very happy that you are starting to feel clearer and better, They Speak.

You mentioned "droping those bombs on myself and my family and friends." Does that mean you have told your wife, your Bishop, and others?"
posted at 11:48:00 on June 15, 2010 by BeClean
not yet    
"no. i guess those bombs are still en route...the bombs on myself oviously land as soon as the act is commited or even before and I guess I feel like Im semi walking out of clouds of some of it.

however that (working threw all of this with friends and family paticularly my wife) is actually how i came to terms with breaking it off or what motivated me was the realization that i really can only focus on one big issue at a time and i owe it to my wife to deal ours unfettered and destracted by another on going relationship. i guess thats part of why i feel a little glimer of hope is just because i feel that much more able/ready to go to my wife and adress what needs be with some leavel of focus."
posted at 19:40:09 on June 15, 2010 by They Speak
I will pray for you    
"I know how hellish it really is to face up to loved ones especially my wife.
TheySpeak here is one thing to remember and this was a bombshell for me in and of itself to take on the chin:

I always thought that it was my courage and my bravery to face up like a man and confess to my wife but I think the more I reason this out without pretenses and rationalizations the more I see that it was more my fears of losing her. It was when I was feeling her slip away from me that really motivated me to tell her what the hell was going on.

It was not bravery far from it, it was fear, fear of losing the one person who has always cared about me.

Anyway I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Keep going like the rest of us, I like to think we are all climbing the stairway to heaven one step at a time. You're a good man and I know if we trust in our savior we can all be free for good."
posted at 22:29:04 on June 15, 2010 by ruggaexpat
Thanks fellas    
"Man i'm actually really glad I wrote this. Cause though only 5 days ago or so I''ve completely forgot how I felt...and feel quite the opposite"
posted at 23:48:49 on June 20, 2010 by They Speak
Wow. I don't feel any sort of pleasant light.    
"Yeah, feeling the opposite. It's a freight train!"
posted at 11:44:16 on August 24, 2012 by g1rlie
Girlie I promise you it will come but gradually    
"I am only enjoying the light recently as now, it is one hell of a long road and takes patience getting used to the long and drawn out process but it will become your life, recovery is my life and I love it accept it and you will too as the light draws nearer.

God bless"
posted at 11:57:37 on August 24, 2012 by ruggaexpat

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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967