Good plan!    

"I'm praying for you, Beclean!"

posted at 16:44:44 on March 1, 2010 by ETTE

Thanks, Ette    

"I'm glad you're on my team. Things have gone great since the post. My wife built my sagging self esteem by addressing me as her hero, and I felt she truly loves me, despite these trials. I feel good.

Thanks again! Just so you know, when I said the prayer I mentioned above, I prayed specifically for a few people on this site, and you were one of them. So, right back at you."

posted at 17:38:19 on March 1, 2010 by BeClean

Two Week Cycle    

"Who said something about a two week cycle? Does the tempter/urge seem to come with force to men every two weeks, whether you have a healthy, active, physically intimate relationship with your wife or not?

The tempter was here 12 days ago, based on my last post. Today, I am tempted sorely again. I will not fail this time, either. I have read my plan from last time, and I will follow it again this time. Pray, tell wife, get help, go read, get back to work."

posted at 11:55:57 on March 12, 2010 by BeClean

Four Week Cycle?    

"Interesting...

My temptations last night and this morning are once again stronger than usual. When I finally recognized that I was at the beginning of an act-out phase a few minutes ago, I thought, "I wonder if it has been two weeks." I came back to this blog and noticed it has been FOUR weeks.

Two weeks ago, I was on vacation with my family...and I don't remember any serious struggles. But I'm starting to think there is something very biological about my urges.

Time to work my plan again. It's been working great. I thank God for his help, without which I can do nothing. I am many months clean. Before that, it was a few months, and before that, it was about 1.5 years. I have had multiple years of progress, improvement, and success, and I am very grateful. I love the Lord.

PS I haven't heard from you in a while, Ette. Are you still here? How are things going?"

posted at 10:00:17 on April 9, 2010 by BeClean

God Rescued Me    

"I was watching some very informative 15-min. documentaries online a few minutes ago when I noticed that the same website has pornumentaries.

Temptation. Click! to see the options. Click! to load one. And the first 5 seconds are "clean"...

But I didn't wait to see what comes next. I turned it off. And I came here.

I love God more. I am nothing without him. I need him. I can't do it by myself. I love my wife and family more. Oh, God, have mercy on me!

I have now prayed and then shared my struggle with my wife. Blogging is part of my plan to break the cycle.

It's been 9 days since I wrote about the last time my instant reaction to temptation was unholy. Both times I was going about my business, just doing my job when temptation came from nowhere. I was NOT looking for it; my intentions were pure. Both times, God rescued me.

Praise him!

I have days and weeks without this kind of temptation, thank Heaven. And with God's help, I have had months and years without falling to it.

But it will never go away. Hours of scripture study during the past two days (the scriptures were literally open on the desk in front of me when the temptation came today) could not prevent the temptation. It will always come again. Satan will not forget he once held me captive, but he hopes that I will forget. I can never let down my guard. I must always remember where I came from, and I must always remember who has rescued me. The LORD is my God, and I will serve Him.

Today was a success. Touchdown. To God be the glory. I hope it takes me a little closer to him. One day at a time."

posted at 18:17:33 on April 28, 2010 by BeClean

BECLEAN    

"You've just experienced "GRACE" and yes, it's a beautiful thing."

posted at 18:36:40 on April 28, 2010 by Anonymous

BECLEAN    

"BECLEAN
I want you to know that without a doubt you have helped me so much. You amaze me! You give me so much strength to do and be better. Thank you so much! You are a huge help in my life. I am praying for you and I know you will continue doing well. Thank again"

posted at 00:03:36 on April 29, 2010 by helpme

Thanks HelpMe    

"This site has been a needed lifeline to me, and you and others on the site have become an important part of my team. Thank you for your kind words, your prayers, and your support. I need it. I am, of course, praying for you, too.

And thanks to all those who allow me to offer advice, which is always a dangerous thing. Sometimes I'm looking for help, sometimes I'm just trying to support, and sometimes I'm offering advice. I try to do it all out of love, but I'm sure I don't always come across the way I intend.

I have a natural tendency towards teaching and towards writing a lot ("Now there's a big surprise! I think [you're] gonna have a heart attack and DIE from that surprise."), and both are therapeutic to me. So, I appreciate all those who allow me to teach and write. If it helps you, I am grateful, but I'm sure it helps me more than anyone else. So, thanks."

posted at 10:53:42 on April 30, 2010 by BeClean

BECLEAN    

"Your teaching is welcome to me, and I need it a lot! If that's what you need, go ahead! ;)"

posted at 13:25:18 on May 2, 2010 by ALMA-BR