I was asked if I would post my comments differently if I were responding to the wife of a pornography addict who had crossed over into abusing her.
I belive that pornography addicts are abusing their wives/husbands. I believe that there is great mental abuse that occurs in a marriage when one person is involved in pornography. Change needs to start somewhere, all too often in a marriage we expect it to start with the other person. It can start with me and the Lord, it does not always have to start with the other person (even if the greater sin lies with him). Think of the story in the new testement about the man in debt who is forgiven his debt and then unwilling to forgive the smaller debts of others. Personalize that story to your marriage, and realize that the Lord has forgiven you. Forgive your husband and be the facilitator of change in your marriage through your love, forgiveness and patience. Joseph Smith was betrayed and abused most by those who he loved, and he always forgave them, and loved them and made it easy for them to change and come back to the church because of his love for them.
If you are with a spouse who would destroy your heart and soul, and drag you to hell, get out. If you are with a spouse who has the desire to change and become better and you are strong enough, then be the one who helps facilitate the change for all in your marriage.
No offense is intended, and if you are offended please let me know.
Dane Adams
daneamy@gmail.com
Comments:
No Offense
"I think what you are writing is true DANEADAMS. It might be hard to hear for some, but the truth can cut to the core as the scriptures say. As I have had struggles of my own lately even in my marriage I have thought of motto (I think that is what they call it) that the Relief society lives by and that is "Charity never faileth".
I watched a video on the website focusonthefamily.com and it was about a man who was addicted to meth and hard drugs and stuff. He was in a band called korn, a heavy rock group. He traveled all over the world and made tons of money. He had a few things that changed his life. First his daughter was born and he loved her so much, but one day he realized some of the lyrics she was singing(when she was older) that came from his music. He saw how drugs screwed up his life and his ex's.
One day his realtor, his realtor, decided he needed to share a scripture with him. It was about the lord giving you rest who are heavy laden. It changed him, he studied that scripture over and over. Then one day he went to church with his realtor and the next day threw out all of his drugs and quit the band. There are simple things that can bring about a change. But the desire does start with you. No matter what the pain is, where it is coming from, or how great it is, it starts with you and is finalized by the lord. The man I mentioned has been sober for several years now and is a christian. He also spends lots of time with his daughter."
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