Dilemma of working on the internet
12/3/2009 9:58:38 AM
Sometimes I feel like I would do much better dealing with my habits and addiction if I could make a career change where I wasn't online so much. The problem is that I can't think of a career I could jump in to where I could also support a family where I wouldn't be working with computers. So I'm brainstorming some jobs that use computers less:

Symphony Musician
Ok, so it was getting hard so I cheated and googled it: />
The best answer over there included these ideas:

Music teachers
Musical conductors
House-Keepers / Servants
Parking attendants
Vehicle mechanics
Chauffeurs / drivers
Day care teachers / babysitters
Machine operators / machinists
Physical education teachers
Martial arts instructors
Nutritionists / Dieticians
Air-con technicians
TV repairmen
General practitioners
Filing clerks
Security officers
QC inspectors
Waiter / Waitress
Air-hostesses / stewards
Store assistants
Oil-painting artists

However, looking at this list, the job either A) won't pay enough to support a family or B) requires talents or education I don't have.

So I think I'm going to have to find a way to work online and not give in to temptation. At one point I installed Covenant Eyes on my work laptop - a tool that keeps track of your web browsing and reports it to people you choose. But then I had to take my laptop to our IT dept. for repairs to the Operating System and I realized that installing this was probably a breach of our company's software policy. I uninstalled it, but sometimes I wish I hadn't.

I know you are probably thinking, "are you crazy?! You are looking at that stuff on a work laptop?! Don't you know that will get you in major trouble?!" Yes. I'm terrified of it. I know it is incredibly stupid. I hate myself even more for endangering my employment as well as my soul.
I've thought of going to the IT people and saying, "hey there, I have a p~rn addiction. Any chance you could install filtering software?" But that seems like an invitation to getting fired. So I'm in a quandry -- I want to get away from the internet, but that is how I make a living. Sometimes I feel like an alcoholic bartender.


Dilemma at work    
"Just found this site. Great place. I see your dilemma. If it were me I would choose the lesser of two evils. I would reinstall the filter. If you get called out on it at least you were trying to focus on work and a filter was helping you do that. Having a filter is a big deterrant for me. Probably has saved me 100's of times. Not a cure but avoiding situations has been key for me. In the early 90's I heard a General Authority say that even he would give in to pornography if he was in a room full of pornography for long enough. It would be a matter of time. wish I could remember his name."
posted at 16:07:30 on December 3, 2009 by Anonymous
Some Thoughts    
"I work on the internet for 8-12 hours a day. I have had the same feeling. Maybe a career change. It was tough to consider after 16 years building the career I have though. I have prayed that God would help me to stay in this career and he has been there to help me.

I would add back in covenant eyes if that has helped you in the past. If you are confronted, no one will fault you. Just say you have had some problem with inappropriate content on the internet and this does not distract you from your job. Having it on your computer makes you a better and more efficient employee. That is all that would need to be said. Chances are they will wish they had thought of it earlier for themselves.

I disagree with the alcoholic bartender comparison. It's more like you work next to the bar and as long as you don't walk in the bar you are fine....but the bar is always there. So the question is, would living 5 miles from the bar keep you out of it. Well, the bar is still there. You can drive by it anytime and look at it. And you can still walk in anytime you wish and drink.

I believe the internet is similar. There are times, even thought it is a few clicks away, that if feels much farther away than a few clicks. As lengths of sobriety and the Savior is in our lives the very thought of acting out disgusts me. That is not always true and I have worked very hard for over a year to get to that point. But right now, as I type, I have no desire and feel that the stuff is miles away from me.

Ultimately it is between you and the Lord. But, media is everywhere. Whether you are on the computer all day or not, it is always just a few clicks away if you want it to be.

May God Bless you in your efforts."
posted at 08:56:43 on December 4, 2009 by nyronian
Ditto to Nyronian    
"I think in some cases it is appropriate to bury our swords as the Anti-Nephi-Lehi did, but in some cases we can't. If you are at the point where you feel like you need to get rid of the Internet in your life, then Heavenly Father will provide a way to make it happen. He wants you to succeed, and He will always give you the tools necessary to do so.

I also agree that "getting in trouble" for installing a filter might not turn out as bad as you think if you present it with the fact that you did that SO that you can be a more effective employee. As said in previous comments, it does depend on your relationship with your boss but I think that getting caught installing a filter would be much better than getting caught for looking at p_rn."
posted at 16:48:09 on December 4, 2009 by needhelp38
"I really appreciate all of your words of advice and wisdom. I'm actually wondering if there is a better solution than Covenant Eyes though -- I had been using it for its accountability features, and these worked well, but when I added the filter part of Covenant Eyes it was incompatible with our company's networking software. The accountability part was helpful, but I still would act out even with it on, and then this made me nervous that a third party company now had a record of everywhere I had been.

The way the accountability part of Covenant Eyes works is that every time you browse somewhere it sends the URL to their servers and adds it to a list. Then a weekly report is sent to your sponsors that shows an analysis of what you have been accessing on the internet, and how likely it was to be p~rn. This did deter me, but then when I acted out even with it on, I felt strange about Covenant Eyes having this information about me. I know that my ISP has this information too (and probably all kinds of people I don't know about), but Covenant Eyes has really specific, analyzed information that ties my name to p~rn. I have no reason in the time with them to suspect they would use the information against me - they have always been very professional and I'm impressed with them, but there is still the principle of it - that there is this company out there that knows a lot of stuff about me that I'm not proud of.

Instead of automatic accountability software, I think I am going to try instead to get a good filter on my laptop and give my wife the password.

So maybe a productive question would be, for those people who work in IT, and who use company laptops, what filtering tools have you found effective?"
posted at 17:17:55 on December 6, 2009 by dazed

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"Freedom from your transgression will come through sincere faith, true repentance, willing obedience, and the giving of self. Why the giving of self? Because selfishness is at the root of your problem. Where selfishness and transgression flourish, the Spirit of the Lord can’t enter your life to bless you. To succeed, you must conquer your selfishness. When your beacon is focused on self, it does little more than blind your vision. When turned outward through acts of kindness and love, it will light your path to happiness and peace. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990