Help... Dang I'm stupid
By Gondor44646
11/18/2009 9:33:01 AM
Help me!! sigh... I haven't failed, but out of nowhere i started having a hard time, and I have read inappropriate articles... I am still ok... but still I hope God will forgive me. I DONT want a sad week, I don't want a miserable day, I can still turn away... I feel like it's too late, but I know the devil ((or my body)) is just try to make me fail completely...

I admit it please... humble me, I made a mistake, but I don't want to return to that sadnesses. I don't have to see myself this way! I can be a pure young man. It is possible! I know it! I'm not doomed! I'm not hopelesses! I DONT have to indulge on these sexual behaviors!! I can still be loved! I don't have to be alone. This evil is not what I want! I don't have to.

SCREEM!! GO AWAY!! DIE!! I'll post anything right now!! Anything is better than that crap... It will only feel good for 1 moment, and then you will be destroyed... I can still be worthy I can still be forgiven! I can still apreciate what I am. Gondor would not do it, I know he dosen't want it, I know it is tempting, the devil is not stupid, but it leads to saddnesses... One day... Marriage, Family, Kids, Temple... Everthing, you will always respect and love... no evil


Keep going    
"Gondor, you are a child of God, and yes Satan will do everything he can to sneak into your life. You might want to make yourself a "why list", if you haven't done so already. I have a list that I can go to when I'm being tempted, it has all the reasons why I want to stay clean, sometimes its enough to get me by when you get bit and you need to get the venom out.

You can do this and you'll be able to be happier than you can think possible. Keep going!! I'll keep you in my prayers."
posted at 09:43:20 on November 18, 2009 by adrastos
We're here - Don't give in!    
"It's NEVER too late, at any point. Good job coming here! Keep up the good work! You are a good person trying to overcome a problem, NOT a bad person!

View this as an opportunity...A GOOD opportunity to try something new, and turn away! After you have read this post, get up from the computer, and go sing a hymn or read a scripture or find an act of service to perform. Go focus on something else. You don't have to give in, just because you feel like you do.

Or, if you choose to stay at the computer (maybe you have homework you have to do), check out this: and this and Google Mormon messages on Youtube."
posted at 09:44:32 on November 18, 2009 by BeClean
"Thank you guys so much! Wow you are fast!? I'm going to drop my brother of at school right now. I'm still freaking out, but I have not given in.

I like the opportunity thing, a matter of fact there was good and bad to this whole thing. Bad because it was an inappropriate article, but good only because it helped me see how incredibly stupid this inappropriate material is... Of course its much better to run away and never look... but after being clear and clean for so long it almost confuses me why I would even waste my time in this crap. Lets see the reason... " uhh induldge... because it feels good... uhh eat drink and be marry? " Or I could just eat a cookie and run outside... no really!? I'm gonna eat a cookie, run around, and then watch some Mormon messages. Thats how stupid porn is... I'm not going to die without it. I can still feel loved and not alone. Sure I know it idioitcly feels good, but I DONT NEED IT... I know what is appropriate, I know what God wants me to do...

Thanks again guys..."
posted at 09:54:08 on November 18, 2009 by Gondor44646
911 Alert    
"I'm glad we could post fast enough. Next time, I think you should try the 911 alert. Has anyone tried it? I haven't received any alerts since I joined. If you just post a blog, I'm not sure we'll see it fast enough, and I'd be so sad to miss an opportunity to lend a hand. I am willing to receive alerts at any time for a reason...I want to be there for someone, because I know I'll need them to be there for me."
posted at 10:04:24 on November 18, 2009 by BeClean
God will forgive you!    
"He probably already has, so you probably don't need to worry about it. I can't speak for God, but I would guess that He's proud of you and the progress you've made.

I think the reason we feel compelled to indulge isn't because we're wicked, or because we think it will feel good, it's because we're sick and we need help. I don't believe we have to act out on our urges, but I do think we shouldn't beat ourselves up for having urges because they are out of our control.

I applaud you for your desire to obey the Lord. You're a good man, Gondor."
posted at 11:53:29 on November 18, 2009 by ETTE
You're not stupid    
"Gondor the Great-
Only smart people reach out for help! I'm so proud of you for coming here for help!! I too, have been having a rough day with some negative thoughts and I ran across the Verse of the Day:

Enos 1:12
And it came to pass that after I had prayed and labored with all diligence, the Lord said unto me: I will grant unto thee according to thy desires, because of thy faith.

I really took it to heart and pleaded with our Heavenly Father to help me get more positive thoughts going through my head. I actually feel much better, pretty cool that we have a Heavenly Father who listens to our prayers. I knew you were having a hard time today too, I put your name in my prayer. "
posted at 12:16:19 on November 18, 2009 by summer
Labored With All Diligence    
"I love summers verse. He not only prayed but he "labored with all diligence". Look at 1 Nephi 10: 17 and 19 and Chapter 11 :1. In studying these chapters I noticed that Nephi was 1) desirous to see, hear and know 2) diligently seeking him, 3) pondering in his heart.

What does it take to diligently seek him? What am I doing to do this? How much effort am I expending? Is my desire, my thoughts, my actions directed toward him? Do I sit pondering over scriptures I read? Do I read daily? Do I PLEAD with him to see, hear and know him? What is the price that is to be paid to know him? Am I willing to pay it?

May God Bless all each of you struggling to overcome this flesh and the temptations that so easily beset us. May we each be DILIGENT in seeking Him that we may see, hear and know the mysteries of God by the power of the Holy Ghost as is promised each one of us.

The answer to our problems is to diligently draw close to our Heavenly Father. Every day drop to our knees and do not arise until you feel the comforting power of the Holy Ghost. That is the strength each one of us needs to overcome these desires."
posted at 13:56:42 on November 18, 2009 by nyronian
"I feel like I'm on a football team...

I'm actually still tempted, but I am at a firends house, I can't just fail liike that... I feel a little bit cracked. even though I didn't fail, I feel like I lost a battle or I have lost ground, and it could be more difficult for me later.

Sigh... I know it's not right to mention our problems in "detail" but I'm feeling stressful because of it. I think thats the Step 5 part... I need to fully talk to somebody, I kind have already... well... I'll figure out...

Thanks again all..."
posted at 15:02:14 on November 18, 2009 by Gondor44646
Not today    
"Gondor, you said, "I feel like I lost a battle or I have lost ground, and it could be more difficult for me later."

Know this: What's done is done. It's in the past. Christ paid for your past, if you let him. It has absolutely no bearing on the future. You don't have to give in just because you lost ground. You don't have to give in just because you always have.

You don't have to give in this time. Smile, say, "Not TODAY," and go do something else."
posted at 23:56:36 on November 18, 2009 by BeClean
Ditto to Everything Above    
"I think we are all much harder on ourselves than we need to be. I also love the mentality and the advice that a lot of people have posted to think of it as one day at a time. Being clean forever sounds too hard, but we can face each day one at a time saying, "Today, just for today, I can be clean." I hope you realize it is not just empty words when I congratulate for coming to this site when you needed help. If you continue to reach out to all of us who are ready and willing to help you as will as your Heavenly Father who is ALWAYS willing to help you at any moment in the day I know that you will have success."
posted at 00:15:38 on November 19, 2009 by needhelp38

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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990