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Decleration of Dependence
By Gondor44646
6/11/2009 2:09:45 PM
Hi, It's Gondor again... here's the recap... 19 yrs old, problem = masturbation and pornography... root = passive-aggressive...

It's summer time... I hate summer, everything and nothing to do...Here is what I am thinking...

The Declaration of Dependence

I am typing this with Step’s 1 and 4 in mind.

I believe that I have come to a certain understanding of the condition of my life right now. I type this to admit to myself that I have not been in control of my life. I admit now that my life has become completely unmanageable. Although there are different problem(s) associated with my life, I admit that passive-aggressiveness is one of the root’s to my problem(s). I acknowledge that I have not been capable of deciphering my own emotions. I know I have not acted in my own self-interest, but in the manipulation of myself and others. I know I by default will resort to avoiding and hiding from my problems and responsibilities rather than confronting them. I admit when I feel fear, anger, resentment or anything else, instead of displaying these emotions I ether sabotage myself, manipulate the situation, use false pride, or passively get back at others. I admit that I lack motivation to change myself, and that this has been the cause of much stress and depression for me. I admit that I have been too concerned about what others think of me rather than what I think about myself or what God thinks of me. I admit that I am not sure, and or I fear what I want out of life. Over these years my will has not been enough to overcome these weaknesses.

I am in a unstable state, in which anything or nothing may happen. Here are my words… here are my honest 200 words that I type about myself.

I am a young man with problems and strengths. I am not very confident in my ability to learn and live, but I know there is still a desire to fill this empty shell and to overcome my weaknesses. Throughout my life I have tried to uphold certain standards, especially in the church, but a sudden fear of displaying my emotions and frustrations in certain failures has kept me from being honest to myself. Although I may have good qualities and accomplishments I usually drown them out with certain fears. I noticed how others feel very easily, and I am sensitive to what others think about me. High School was very difficult for me, but I am grateful that I graduated, even though it was not very good. I like computers, but they are also my enemy. I am not very socially equipped, and I fear relationships and dependence. I am easily discouraged and stressed out, and I may quickly give up with a lack of faith. I know that I am still very nice to others even though I am not very nice to myself. I only hope that I will stil bel accepted even though I am in this state of mind.

My God help me be honest... That is all…
Gondor

Comments:

Thanks    
"It was helpful to read what you had to say. I could see some of my self as a young man. The Lord can work miracles in our lives. Hope to hear from you again."
posted at 23:07:18 on June 19, 2009 by SandyMan


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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation”. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006