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struggling today
By happybob91
5/22/2009 5:50:39 PM
Well lately I have been having some real ups and downs. Woke up this morning with excruciating back pain, went to the hospital, and was prescribed some pain medication, took it and zoned out for most of the day. Woke up, not feeling myslf and gave in to a number of weaknesses that I have. I feel so listless and out of it. I feel so depressed right now because it seems like I am really doing a lousy job as of late. I have studied more in the scriptures and feel great when I do, but now I feel myself getting weaker and weaker. I was in so much pain today, which caused me to miss my routine and caused me to feel lazy and depressed. I know that I can't do this on my own but I'm getting past the point of caring what I did or didn't do right. I keep feeling like it's pointless to point out all the little things I could have done better because eventually any goal I set becomes forgotten. Part of me wants to say that today was just a part of my mind not being in the right place and to have joy in the successes I have, but another part is questioning how far I have really come. I don't know how I should see myself right now.

Comments:

Pain meds    
"Is the pain med your taking narcotic? Ask your doctor about taking acetaminophen or ibuprofen instead. Obviously it won't help as much, but in prescription strength it should at least take the edge off."
posted at 07:16:35 on May 23, 2009 by shadow
step 1    
"I often find that I don't know how I should be viewing myself or my behavior or whatever. In step 1, there is a passage, starting with the bottom right paragraph of page one and continuing on to page two.

"You can list what is important to you. Look at your family and social relationships, your relationship to God, ... Consider how your actions undermine what you value. You can pray that the Lord will help you see yourself and your life as He sees it- with all your divine potential- and what your isk by continuing in your addiction."

I've thought a lot about this in the past couple of weeks. I've been doing relatively well in the months of April and May, but still with a period of about 2 days where things are extremely hard and I experience some sort of letdown. This 2 day period seems to be coming about every 4 weeks now instead of every week. The point of all this is that I am trying to pray that God will let me see my life as he does, because sometimes I get so depressed that I am trying so hard to do what is right and I still fail. I am hoping that as I do this, he will guide me and remind me in those times of weakness what life is really about and perhaps he'll help me care enough to fully turn myself over to him during those times to help me break this latest cycle.

Remember, we are all still learning to entrust our life over to the Lord. Some people seem to be able to do it without glancing back, but as step three states, "At first our efforts were anxious and halting. We kept giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back." At least he is very patient with us.

I'll keep you in my prayers. God bless you."
posted at 08:09:49 on May 24, 2009 by shale


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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay