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Relapse
By shadow
2/19/2009 3:30:35 PM
I'm a addict, I have a problem with well... stimulating myself. I have never looked at porn I feel it is very degrading. I was clean for a month but then this week i've had a relapse, its been really bad. Once nearly everyday this week. I do have one friend who knows about this, she's not a member and dosn't really think what I'm doing is wrong, but she's the only person i'm close enough to, to talk about it with But I know it is wrong, at least I can talk to somebody once in a while. I'm 21 and going to school and I have a management positionat work, between than and issues with concentration I can get stressed, It dosn't help. I can't go on a mission becuase I have emotional issues including depression. I've had issues with this off and on my whole life, but I had been clean for a long time up until maybe 9 or 10 months ago? Anyway I'm seeing if blogging helps any.

Comments:

bishop always helps    
"every time I went to see my bishop about my issues in life which are usually centered around porn and masterbation once I leave his office I do not feel the weight anymore and I feel that I can overcome this and because I have been trying my best top follow his counsel and pray with real intent asking for the strength to be clean just for one day every morning and then going back to bed thanking him for the strength to remain clean it has helped me plus I keep myself busy with positive things even video games during the day to relieve stress a bity I do not spend much time on them though as anything can becoem an addiction if we let it to the point where we absolutely need the next fix to go on. I have been 23 days clean now and I feel closer to my God and feel of his love and now another miracle has been given to me in my life after 15+ years I can now finally began to forgive myself for doing this kind of immorality. So I say talk to the bishop"
posted at 00:05:02 on February 20, 2009 by Joshua
I don't know.    
"I'm not sure I want to talk to my bishop, I don't feel comfortable talking about personal issues(not just this kind of thing) with other guys, I know that sounds odd but it's true :p On a related note It seems like a lot of people here are talking about having life long problems, does this mean that once this kind of thing starts it never completely goes away? Am I always going to have to deal with this nonsense? If so would it really be selfish of me to consider marrying? I mean if this will always be a problem that will come back in the distant future would it be right of me to drag someone else along with me?"
posted at 19:45:27 on February 20, 2009 by shadow
hi Shadow    
"I cannot speak for anyone but myself. I have been a porn addict for over 35 years, and have been in recovery for almost 5 years. I am convinced that I am ok, with what grace has allowed me to do. Save my marriage, repent of my past, regain my temple reccomend, and serve as a church service missionary in the ARP program. Even the BOM people had to retain a remission of their sins. I believe that Father can completly cure this cancer. In my case the answer has been, not yet. I have found peace in my life and happiness, freedom from pain that this addiction has caused. For me I have been strengthened to bear the burden and my load is able to bear. This addiction keeps me in constant need of my Savior. I may not have found the meaning of the Atonement otherwise. I am not grateful for this stinking addiction, but I am grateful for the person I am because of it, The Lord has taken the most terriable thing in my life and has turned it into good. I do not personally know of anyone who is "cured" but I do know of many over the years who are in remission. Satan will always know my weaknesses, and can use my memory against me, I am at a disadvantage with those men who have never bowed to this weakness, I will have to be vigiliant for the rest of my life. I will always be repenting and in need of my Lord. What is wrong with that? everyone needs that outlook on mortal life. I would not put my life on hold, until I am recovered. I would get into a PASG group that would cure your fear of talking about this problem. Everyone in the room has the same problem as you, I promise it would help you to talk to your bishop or a group, you will find that you are not alone, you are not uniquely broken and you can be fixed. I would start a program and progress before getting serious with someone, but you need to recover and live your life, and fulfill your destiny, which includes finding an eternal companion, start now to prepare yourself for her, leave the addiction and the recovery in HIS hands.
sorry for the preaching I usually just share about my life and experiences and I hope something might be of help to others, but my fingers have run amuck and before I stop myself, find the book Clean Hands Pure Heart it goes hand in hand with the arp guide and is addiction specific. That book help change my life
all the best to you
your brother Harveyf"
posted at 21:13:47 on February 20, 2009 by harveyf


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"The solution to this problem ultimately is neither governmental nor institutional. Nor is it a question of legality. It is a matter of individual choice and commitment. Agency must be understood. The importance of the will in making crucial choices must be known. Then steps toward relief can follow."

— Russell M. Nelson

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