False Pride...
By Gondor44646
7/7/2008 4:02:37 PM
Gondor... its just me again, I am still going clean. I just wast time thinking about my problem, especialy mast****... it devistated me back in my youth.

It is possable to stop right, no matter what age you are?

That is odd for me to say, I know it is possable because I have been able too for periods of my life... I think I am just having a hard time forgiving myself... I focus on all of those times I failed, and I cant imagine myself clean, espicialy after what I hear from the world, purposless, defined,... almost like I lack agency... ... (step 1 ?)

I think this is a case of pride... I have to admit and let go of the fact that I am not perfect, and I am unworthy, unclean... the only way to litteraly find perfection is Jesus Christ... He can make me clean... I dont have to see myself as some uncontroable animial that does whatever. I am a child of God, I wish I could take that more to heart...

That is all...


It's a struggle, it's a war    
"I didn't have a problem with Mbtn until after I got married, and even then I viewed all of the actions as isolated incidents. It took me a long time to realize that even though I might go six months or a year with out acting out, I still eventually did it. Just like the uncontrollable animal that you mention.

But it is true that we can stop. We don't have to do it. It is the addict in me that makes me think that I do have to. But with God I can stop. I can get better, but not on my own. I had a sort of relapse last week and the guilt and shame and remorse are weighing on me heavily, but I know that the reason that it happened is pride. I got too prideful about my progress, and I started to dabble in imagery that I thought I could handle. I got drunk on one drink (metaphorically speaking)

I am there with you. It is tough for me to let go. I want all the improvement right now, and I forget about where I have come from and where I should be going. I have to take it more to heart, and I am trying. We can do it. With God's help, it is possible."
posted at 22:25:11 on July 7, 2008 by panshrdze
"I've noticed a pattern in a lot of your posts. You view the world as awful and morally unclean and sinful. It is all these things and I realize this is something I have struggled with too. But, I think it is important to keep in mind that this life on this Earth was created for us and because of God's love, we are able to use this time here for our benefit. Rather than focus on the evil focus on the amazing amount of good here. Think of all the wonderful members and even non-members which work every day to make this world a better place to live even if it is clear that evil is pushing that progress downward at a faster rate. It does us very great harm to focus always on the negative and the evil around us. I think it is absolutely our charge to rise above this and no, I'm not saying forget it entirely because if you do it will suck you back in, I am simply saying focus elsewhere. Focus on the good, that is where joy comes from. That is how we realized that we needed help. That is how we can change and recover, by realizing that it's so worth it to be better and to help struggling world. If you need proof that the world is FULL of goodness and light, read the loving posts all over this website and if you are close to a temple visit it's grounds, you will feel that love, I guarantee it. We would not have those beautiful sacred buildings if all good had left the world.

Another pattern I have observed in your posts is that of self loathing. You said it yourself best when you said you are a child of God. We all are and that is why loving ourselves is just as much a part of recovery as forsaking the sin is. Without this self love we cannot move forward, we falter and we fail if we cannot love ourselves. If God can give us such wonderful, endless and perfect love what reason do we have not to love ourselves? If we are deserving of such a great thing what right do we have to dislike who we are? I may not be the perfect example of self love, I am sure a lot of us here are not but, I have learned that we must try our very hardest to change this self-loathing way of thinking. If you can't think of any reason to love yourself I will give you some: You are here, trying to change with righteous intent. You are working toward serving a mission, God loves you. What more do you need?

You are doing great things by being here. Keep up the good work, love this world for all the beauty contained within it and love yourself for all the great progress you are making!"
posted at 08:12:52 on September 3, 2008 by jjh832k1

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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988