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Please help...
By Gondor44646
2/22/2008 6:34:51 AM
Hello I have been with this website for a little while now, I am know 18 years old and I have been suffering for 6 years with a masturbation/porn addiction. Although pornography is a bad thing that also needs to stop, it is acutally the masturbation that is the real big problem for me. this week has been going well! I have had victories I thought I could never do, however, I need help, I need help

please bear with me...

I need help..... I am loosing hope, I failed again, I have been concetently getting better and better, but when I give up when I fail, it seemes to always destroy all of that effort. Of course this is probably another one of those blogs that a am flustered in. I hope you still dont mind... I was doing so well, and it was the same stupid thing, I thought I got over that... I had the power to chose the whole time. I had my agency... I am not an uncotrolable animal, I can tell myself not to do that. I need to get rid of the worldly attitude. I have to stop making excuses, I have to stop blaming the world. The world is wrong, the church is true! The church is true... grrr...((AHAHAdKHA?SKdHF)) grr... ok...

I was going to do a bunch of kool stuff thinking I was going to get through this week. I was thinking about the sacrament again, about my other presthood responsibilities, Patriarc blessing, temple, endownment, mission, temple mariage, emailing everybody thanking them for helping me, finaly getting through my problem. nope... all gone again, just for a few moments of sin... I could have stoped!? I knew I was not doing good. I should have stoped. I actualy did! I stoped for a moment and I got up and remebered what happened all the other times, it still was not to late!?! I walked around... but for some stupid reason I came back to it.

I need to recoil, I need to try again, it is not to late, but I feel hopless, I dont think I will ever get out of this. But I can!!? by living the gospel of Jesus Christ I can get over anything. I feel so sick of myself, I hate it, I hate myself, I fell like I have no purpose, there is no hope. That is false!! I am a child of god. I am not some purposles animail. My Father in heaven has a purpose for me. There is opposision in all things. There is a right and wrong. Sombody is wrong here... the world. When I hear what the world says I feel like there is nothing, there is no hope for anything, I am a selfish animial and there is no reason why I shouldn't yeild to anything that brings plesure. When I hear what the Gospel says I feel like I am somthing, that this hope for everthing, that I can become selfless, there is an enternal happiness, I need to stop doing certain things because it pervets further progression, and happiness in life. The church!! I pick the church! So Gondor44646 I command you not to do these things.

World "Ha! yeah right!? you have only experianced failure in your life, over and over again, everybody does this, dont you know the stitisics, you are fooling yourself many people even in your church lie! HA HA how can there be any hope in this, you are fooling yourself, and are brainwashed."

Church "Yes, Gondor44646 you can stop this, you have experianced falure, but you have also experianced acomplishment! Not everybody does this sin, it is true, it is difficult but you have aggency and acoutablity. You can stop. Some people do lie about sin in church. Do you think that makes that okay?? no...!, there is hope in this, you are valient, and wise."

Ok, I am going to try again. I am going to pray more, I am not going to forget to pray, I am going to get plenty of sleep so I have strength, I have pictures of Jesus Christ everywhere, coppies of the Book of mormon in difficult places, fasting, good works, church meetings... ok

um... thanks everybody, these blogs help me recoil or come back, so that way I dont just give up and continue failing. I think the biggest problem was not getting enough sleep, although I did get to go to seminary more. I need to get to bed earlyer, so I can go to seminary and get enough sleep.

Ok... all I need is a few sentences of encourgement, and I need to stop this worldly attitude, if you go online and search this you will see that the world regareds this behavior (masturbation) as a normal, heathy thing that teenagers do. That is false! The church says otherwise, this is not an ok behavior and I need to stop. Just because I am a young man dosent mean I am some uncontrolable sex animail! I have the ability to choose, but the world just makes it seem like every young man is gulity of this, and there is no purpose to life, and in this case, sex.

Please, I know this church is true, I know what the answers to these questions are but I need sombody to reafirm my testomony.

Is masturbation wrong? (yes)
Is masturbation ok in or out of marrage?
Is masturbation a sin? (yes)
Is Porn a sin? (yes)
Is porn okay to see after you are a teenager and your body is mature. (no)
Is anything that is deplicted in porn okay in mariage. (unholy, impure...probaly not)
Is it possable for a young man that believes in the church at a young age, to never commit to this behavior (masturbation)?
Is it possable for me to stop this?
Is it possable to let go and forgive myself of my past, and gain forgivness now?

ok that is all, gee?! hope your day is going well, today might not be so fun for me.

(((( I have read many of the blogs here about husbands that are addicted to porn... obviously I am not marraried yet, ohh but I hope you will be patiant with us, please help us (addict men,((and some women)) ) It absolutly makes me sad to see the sufuring that goes through this, please nobody else loose hope (like i am) ... I hope you will be willing to comfort, support and help us... ))))

ok end...

Comments:

Take a breath!    
"You've said a mouthful! The devil gets a "two-for-the-price-of-one" deal when we emotionally assault ourselves after a relapse. Not only does he get the sin but the self-hatred is thrown in at no charge. Stop thinking so hard! You can't think away this problem. We battle this thing by taking ACTION and then the thinking eventually begins to follow suit. The actions that lead to recovery are attending meetings and working the Twelve-Steps with someone we are accountable to. If you're not in the frame of mind to do those things yet, at least try to stay in "today". We spend so much of our time worrying about the future and when we're not doing that we're living in the past. If you take the next 24 hours and work on staying clean until this time tomorrow, you might find that task alot more manageable than looking at a whole lifetime of abstinence. If you ask anyone with a number of years clean in recovery they will usually agree that you get there by staying clean TODAY. That's where all your focus needs to be-in today. Also, get in the habit of asking Heavenly Father in the morning to keep you clean for that day... and (here's the imortant part) thank Him at the end of every day clean. If you do that you are well on your way to working the first three Steps.
At the very least, leave the self-flagelation to those old Catholic monks. That's not the Gospel. The painful price doesn't need to be suffered twice. Confess it, forsake it, forgive yourself and move on. Our power to screw up will never be greater than His power to redeem."
posted at 12:03:07 on February 22, 2008 by Anonymous
focus on the good    
"Yep, we all know about relapses and how that makes us feel. I had to start over my sobriety stretch 11 days ago and it was pretty devastating. However, something that helped me (thx to people who responded with support) is to realize that just because you have had a relapse doesn't mean you are literally starting all over again. We are taking steps forward and backwards. Part of this struggle is learning how to deal with relapses. We should never justify having a relapse or allow ourselves to slip for any reason, but when they do occur it is important to realize how we can handle them.
What helped me is to focus on my improvements over the last year, and what helped me get better. It reminds me of what I need to be doing in order to live without relapses. The most important thing, I think, is to not isolate myself and beat myself up, but continue to be open and honest in the repentance process. Anonymous is right: confess, forsake, and forgive. Move on. Realize that you aren't gonna be back to where you started unless you give up, become content with living a double life, and stop trying to sincerely repent. Good luck and you will be in my prayers."
posted at 15:03:34 on February 22, 2008 by roast_rump


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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002