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Reaching out
By Matrix
2/16/2008 2:54:03 AM
I'm really struggling right now. I've been dealing with so many issues in the past month and a half that I'm ready to be done. I feel so stressed and I don't know what to do. I've tried praying for comfort and peace but because I've messed up so many times within the past little while, I feel so unworthy to ask for help. I feel like all I can do is beg for forgiveness. That is just what tops my list of stressors. I just want everything to be okay. I feel so alone. I need someone to talk to so badly but I can't find anyone to turn to that understands and listens. It's been a horrible month and I just want it to be over. I'm so frustrated with how things are going in my life and knowing that I can't change it. I don't want to be an addict anymore. I don't want to have to deal with this for the rest of my life. I want to be done.

Thanks for letting me vent a little. Everyone has those days.

Comments:

HECHA LA GANAS    
"Satan is very cunning and the first thing he tries to make us feel is that we are unworthy to pray, we are unforgiveable, he works through discouragement, and feelings of failure and self-hate. Addiction is hard it can be a vicious cycle, but Matrix, the fact that you are here asking for help and talking about it shows that you really do want to change. You are always worthy to talk to God, Satan doesn't want you to because he knows that is where you will find comfort and strength. What ever you do don't stop praying and working towards overcoming your addictions. You need to find an outlet, you need to find something to replace your addiction or you will always find yourself going back to it. Ask yourself, why you do it? What are the feelings deep down underneath that this addiction is covering. Once you can recognize what those are you can gain a stronger control. You can come up with new ways to meet those needs or overcome those feelings. I want you to know I am here for you and I've been told that I am a good listener so if you ever need to talk, well word up homegirl."
posted at 09:21:31 on February 16, 2008 by c2
I LOVE YOU    
"I have been UNLOVEABLE most of my ADULT life! I"ve done it all, and MORE! In and out of county jails....Last year I made it to the BIG HOUSE.....Prison. Thats were I restored my FAITH and LOVE in OUR SAVIOR! I.. with a broken heart.... and a contrite spirit, broke down and cried within to my Lord. From that moment on he has opened many doors for me. I want to bowe my head and cry. What an awesome God he is!!!!!!!!! He never stopped loving me!!!!! I realized that he has carried me through these years of shame and guilt!!!!!! If you ever ask yourself.How did I ever get through these trials and tribulations. Addiction and whatever else was on your agenda......That small still voice whispers YOUR A STRANGER HERE.AND HAVE WANDERED FROM A MORE EXHALTED SPHERE. MY SISTER HE HAS CARRIED YOU THROUGH YOUR MOST SINFUL ACTS........HIS LOVE IS FAITHFULL AND UNCONDITIONAL!! GOD BLESS YOU SISTER!"
posted at 20:23:19 on March 2, 2008 by chosen


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"Develop discipline of self so that, more and more, you do not have to decide and redecide what you will do when you are confronted with the same temptation time and time again. You need only to decide some things once. How great a blessing it is to be free of agonizing over and over again regarding a temptation. "

— Spencer W. Kimball