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slave to the flesh...
By Gondor44646
11/11/2007 5:00:24 PM
I just want to see what other people think, and why they think the way they do. I am a mormon, and I believe in Jesus Christ. I do not know what to think about other peoples opinions on this subject. I will respect what they think, but I believe this is wrong. I masturbate, and I have not been able to stop for 5 years. The whole world says that this is an acceptable and normal behavior. I do not believe that. It is true some teenagers might come across this issue in their life. I do not believe Jesus Christ would do this behavior. I know I can not be as perfect as Jesus, but I want to stop.

Ok… but I am hopelessly addicted. A lot of teens might also be having a hard time stopping this but then most will think why should I care? Why would they stop something that doesn’t harm anything and brings them pleasure…their purpose in life…pleasure? I want to stop this self-gratification behavior that decreases my spirituality and makes me feel guilty. For some teens the only why to stop feeling guilty is to become convinced that it is completely normal and ok. I believe that you are supposed to be in control of your body. I can not stop, I have no control… even if this didn’t have an affect in my life, it is still an addiction. I have made this issue a lot worse then it needed to be. I have been suffering from depression, I feel really bad, I have not been performing well in school. I feel like the whole world is against me… but I don’t care. I can not be a slave to the flesh. How can any teenager be expected to avoid anything that brings instant gratification like (drugs, sex) if they can not even control themselves. I know the church can help (support) me. I just want advice, and help. How do I stop this. (( I have be trying for 5 years ))

I also want to type this I have noticed how much of a sin this really is. I hate that plesure that comes from this problem, but no matter what I will do anything to get it... because it feels good. It is a sin, I have used God, familey, firends, and my church as a justification for my pride. When in the end I will do anything to not do god's will and to submit myself to that plesure. I have lost my life just to have that. I have lost so much time, I have lost so many blessings. I simply need to take responsibability. I know Jesus Christ can change me, IF I let him. obviously I havent...

(step 4 ? hmm....)

Please support and help me ... I feel bad

Comments:

always look up    
"As I look back when i was a teen I too had the same problem and I thought that it was okey and that it was something that teens went though. When I would have interview with my bishop he would ask me masterbated and i would always tell no back then I think things were a little to bring out into open ( the 70's) and now I wishe dthat I had done cause I'm in my 40's na d try ing get over it and pron and oher things that go Long with this addiction and it's hard I've been free from actinf out since jan 2007 and it has been along road but i got the help i need to get though this you need to willing to let other people that are going though this help as well as your family and family they will understand I'm sure they care for you alot and want to help you over come this so that you can move on.

As far as being not perfect no one on this earth is perfect the only one I know of is god and christ , thats why we were put on earth they knew that we would have trials like this in our lives so that we can become stronger and a better person Adam and eve were perfect as well til they partook of the friut and that was the plan othe wise there would only be them two on the earth still .

You are too hard on yourself you need to not be down on yourself thats how i was for along time and things seam to to worse instead of better but things can get better for you .
I read in a book how satan works on you and pushes you tl we fail and give in and one of the things that they said to was when those thoughts come to you , yousay one of this things in your head Thanks , satan for reminding to read the b of m or say a paryer and thank the lord for teh power of the atonment or memorize a passage of scriptures or your fav. church song and the other is if you have one rerad you patratichal blessing I have mine small enough that i can carry it with in my bag were every i go . I hoep that this helps you and know that you are a child of god and he still loves you know matter what . may you stay safe and will be here for you always and will pray for needs at thime. your friend "
posted at 10:15:21 on November 12, 2007 by newsoul
You are way ahead of us...    
"I read the same book: "Comfort My Soul In Christ" - Overcoming Addictive Behavior: Reclaiming a Life Out of Balance." I wish I had read that book when I was a teenager or in my mission or any time before it was too late for me. I was excommunicated after going from self-abuse, to pornography, to acting out on my obsession. It is an obsession. It was so hard for me. I was plagued with the practice in my whole mission. I hope you can read and you can find help here, or with your Bishop, or with Jesus himself somehow. It is so good to know that you are reaching out for help at this time in your life. I wish a place like this existed in the 70's. You know the bar has been raised for people to go on missions. If you are looking for reasons to stop I have two: one, so you can go on a mission and be clean for those two years and beyond; two: you want to be happy when you marry and according to Men's Health (and stay away from that magazine by the way) one good thing they said was: if you do it often, you will find just the right way to get what you are looking for and NO WOMAN in the world will ever be able to satisfy you. That is a really scary thought and it is true. Too many young man marry and find themselves frustrated because they think intimacy in marriage will help them stop and it won't. They become like Paul warned "lovers of themselves."

You are young and you have time to stop. I am not saying it will be easy. When I was a teenager my body was constantly asking me to do that. I could not find a way to stop it. I would not tell anyone. It was my sin when I was alone. But all that time I was not alone. I had a sad Jesus looking at me and a very happy Satan enjoying every moment. I hope you will be able to control your feelings of low esteem because of it. We should not downplay the seriousness of the act, think that it is normal, because it is not, but we cannot think that it is the end of the world. I have been at the bottom and it is dirty, filthy and people there have no respect for the other children of God or for themselves as such. You don't want to be there and if Satan can convince you that you are worth nothing because of this he will surely get you to do worse things. There are worse things. So, you have something bad in your life, but (and fortunately) you don't even know, and don't want to know, what a horrible thing is. No one goes from sad teenager to pervert and degenerate in one day, one year, one decade. It takes time. Find strength while you are pure (you are) and plagued (you are) with this because your purity inside still allows you to be here asking for council.

On that same book the author mentions when he was a Mission President and a missionary could not stop doing that and wanted to quit. The answer was not to think of stopping. By thinking of stopping the guy was thinking about it. You body will remind you every morning to do it. You don't need to think about it. So, I believe the author and another one as I put both together now, that the best medicine for this is to find something else to do, something that will take a great effort on your part, serving others, so you will feel like doing that, not because you thought about it, but because your mind reminded you to do it, when that happens, you will think it is not worth it. If you feed the obsession with solutions or analysis, excuses, too much concentration on it, you will do it over and over and over. So, let that obsession die for lack of attention. Is there a hospital with teens that suffer or leuchemia or something that you can help by visiting? Is there a lady that cannot leave her bed because she is too old for whom you can go and tend for her yard or read books too? Can you tutor someone on something? There is so much in this life to reach out to. I am not sure that would have helped me. Your mind may be telling you they won't because you tried and failed so many times. But the best time to do something about this is now. Don't let the years pass and then be like us in our late 40's, early 50's with our lives shattered trying to figure out how to get our lives back under control. You are not bad. You are pure. You are tempted. You have something big but you can conquer that Goliath in your life. You can because you are way ahead of us who did not have this back when we were in our rooms or bathrooms by ourselves and did not have a web page to open up and ask what you are asking. Take advantage of these words we give you and be all you can be. You are way ahead."
posted at 21:31:00 on November 12, 2007 by almosthere
"worth waiting for"    
"there is a book called "worth waiting for". In it there is a chapter on it that really helped me out. There are a couple ways to look at solutions for this: you can focus on your spiritual side and strengthen those weaknesses that you have and you can focus on the physical aspect and changing your environment and what you do. Both of these are important. The book I mentioned talks quite a bit about how to break the cycle. It goes through stages of acting out on an addiction with some ideas about how to break out of each one stage (whatever you find yourself in at the time). Anyway, that was a great help for me.
Also I thought it interesting that you admitted to being hopelessly addicted. That is ok in that it is good that you realize the addiction. It really reminds me of step two, however, which is hope. As I started going through the 12 steps I felt hopelessly addicted at first. Now I feel hopeFULLY addicted. I am an addict, but I have seen some amazing things in my personal recovery. I have learned to take responsibility and rely on the Savior in ways that are so simple to my mind, but that I couldn't grasp in my heart before. And even though I will still admit that I am an addict and have problems that I cannot overcome, I am often filled with hope that I can be made clean the Savior.
Anyway, grab a copy of the 12 step manual or download the .pdf from the lds family services web site. It sounds like you've done this already. Work that spiritual side of things but don't ignore the physical side as well. You mentioned step 4- this helps a lot as well because it teaches you why you are addicted and what you wanted from the addiction and when and under what circumstances the addiction took control of you and why you let it and all of these other things that will help you change. Good luck!"
posted at 19:39:15 on November 18, 2007 by roast_rump
"worth waiting for"    
"there is a book called "worth waiting for". In it there is a chapter on it that really helped me out. There are a couple ways to look at solutions for this: you can focus on your spiritual side and strengthen those weaknesses that you have and you can focus on the physical aspect and changing your environment and what you do. Both of these are important. The book I mentioned talks quite a bit about how to break the cycle. It goes through stages of acting out on an addiction with some ideas about how to break out of each one stage (whatever you find yourself in at the time). Anyway, that was a great help for me.
Also I thought it interesting that you admitted to being hopelessly addicted. That is ok in that it is good that you realize the addiction. It really reminds me of step two, however, which is hope. As I started going through the 12 steps I felt hopelessly addicted at first. Now I feel hopeFULLY addicted. I am an addict, but I have seen some amazing things in my personal recovery. I have learned to take responsibility and rely on the Savior in ways that are so simple to my mind, but that I couldn't grasp in my heart before. And even though I will still admit that I am an addict and have problems that I cannot overcome, I am often filled with hope that I can be made clean the Savior.
Anyway, grab a copy of the 12 step manual or download the .pdf from the lds family services web site. It sounds like you've done this already. Work that spiritual side of things but don't ignore the physical side as well. You mentioned step 4- this helps a lot as well because it teaches you why you are addicted and what you wanted from the addiction and when and under what circumstances the addiction took control of you and why you let it and all of these other things that will help you change. Good luck!"
posted at 19:40:29 on November 18, 2007 by roast_rump


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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967