By Gondor44646
7/28/2015 4:55:43 AM
Most of you probably do not remember me but the last time I posted here was about 2.5 years ago... I had (have) difficulties with masturbation and pornography. I was able to remain clear for that time.

I was able to serve a mission!? That is where I have been for the past 2 years! I am home now. I have not done anything stupid yet, but considering this to be a valid weakness of mine I would much rather throw myself on the ground right now and get help before anything really stupid happens.

I'm still not perfect and I make mistakes. But I was able to learn a lot about myself and others as I did my best to help and share the gospel.

If there is any one thing that I realize know. It is, that I was suffering from clinical depression. I did not take it seriously. I just thought that this is how things were, or that it was normal to feel suicidal, horribly helpless and hopeless. But there is a night and day difference. A couple doctors were able to help me while on the mission. Medication has helped a lot.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with taking medication. (Alma 46:40). I learned that we are given these trials to help us come close to our Father in Heaven. And even though it seems insane how much pain we go through, it is a necessary step in our existence in learning how to discern and overcome through the atonement. We can find peace in this life. And in an eternal time table, these trials have an end, therefore we can and will be set free. Jesus Christ not only suffered for our sins, but for our physical, mental, and emotional pains. Depression is real. The Lord will provide a way even if we have to go through our trials, or even if we don't have to.

Masturbation and Pornography are problems. These emotional problems too with depression makes it difficult to overcome. But when we see things in the correct perspective, as they really are, it is 100 times easier to overcome any addiction. I know that our Heavenly Father will continue to help us all as we strive to overcome our sins through his Beloved Son Jesus Christ.

And I pray that everything will continue to be ok... (Because I don't want to go back to that stupidity)


Thanks for sharing    
"I find it wonderful that you're being proactive and protective now. If you take time to read these blogs you will see that many families have been deeply affected by these problems. I find it completely amazing that you're doing and taking the appropriate steps now. It's so hard later on and many people wished they would have or could have back when they were younger and less advanced in the stages of life. It's simple to see why we have been warned by the leaders of our church to stay away from this stuff and when people start they think I'm young with no family, it won't matter. But it truly does. Abstaining from this problem for years still affects my family. Having the problem years before marriage and even stopping when your married still affects it. You're doing a great job and you will be successful."
posted at 17:14:45 on July 28, 2015 by Anonymous
welcome back!    
"That's awesome! Congratulations on your mission, and on everything you're doing to stay on track :) Totally agree that there can be times when medical intervention/medication can be necessary for depression. They can help regulate emotions so that we can allow the Atonement to work more fully in our lives.
I'm glad you made this site a port of call early on in your return. I know people who have found the temptations of their addiction all too strong after a mission (after all, Satan loves a challenge, so why not go for an RM who's just returned from two years dedicated to the Lord?!) so reaching out on here is hopefully a great way to stay a step ahead.
Stay close to the Lord, and if you feel to do so, check out a 12 step meeting near you. Not saying you should or need to, but anything to keep the shields up and the armour strong right?"
posted at 17:48:24 on July 30, 2015 by Anonymous
"I wondered where you had gone. I'm happy to hear you served a mission. Keep fighting the good fight!"
posted at 17:26:32 on August 23, 2015 by ETTE

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"Now brethren, the time has come for any one of us who is so involved to pull himself out of the mire, to stand above this evil thing, to “look to God and live” (Alma 37:47). We do not have to view salacious magazines. We do not have to read books laden with smut. We do not have to watch television that is beneath wholesome standards. We do not have to rent movies that depict that which is filthy. We do not have to sit at the computer and play with ographic material found on the Internet."

— Gordon B. Hinckley

General Conference, October 2004