By Stonecarver
8/25/2014 10:28:31 PM
Thank you for the help! It really changed my perspective! Now I have a question so me and my girlfriend were at the pool and we started kissing and then we started touching and petting and that is as far as it went! I know now it probably wasn't good but we know now that we need to not out ourselves in that position and stuff anymore! So it was a one chance mistake! Is it really that big as to tell the bishop, or is it ok because we promised and asked for forgiveness with The Lord already as a whole and know that we won't ever do it again! Any thoughts?? It's not like I feel guilty or anything it's just I don't really know how t works all that well!


I'd tell my bishop anyway    
"It's very easy to make yourself feel like it's ok, since no one knows. Accountability is easiest when you know you'll have someone ask you about it later. Your bishop has probably seen this many times and will likely just ask you to stop by his office from time to time to help you stay on the straight & narrow."
posted at 01:11:51 on August 26, 2014 by bestgmever
My .02    
"Let's be blunt shall we? If by petting you mean you touched 'private parts' then you need to go talk to the Bishop for sure. The end. If you were heavy kissing then your conscience will tell you if you need to go or not. If you keep questioning if you need to go, then you do.

Another thought is that maybe you don't need to go to 'confess' even if you were within the acceptable boundaries. Maybe you should go for advice, not for confession. That is an important part of a Bishop's job too. The should be no shame in either case....with either confession or seeking counsel you are just looking to improve and gain wisdom. Nothing lost if you do go talk to him!

And fwiw, your comment about never doing it again makes me want to warn you....once you start crossing those bridges it becomes VERY hard NOT to cross them again. If you mean it and you want to commit to not going too far ever again then you need strict rules...more strict than you had before. Whatever you do, you two need to sit down and have a serious list making session of real, agreed on rules. It can be awkward but it is worth it.

I'll give you some examples. My hubby and I made rules when we started dating. We had a rule that we would never kiss in a car. Rule that we never laid down next to each other, not even to watch a movie or play a game. We even had the rule for no french kissing. Those rules kept us in the safe zone and even though we gave up some 'innocent fun' perhaps it kept us away from heart ache and it was totally worth it.

Like Dr Phil says, it's time to get real. If you don't want it to happen again then make a real plan on how to prevent it.

My .02"
posted at 22:02:57 on August 26, 2014 by maddy
My 2 cents    
Thanks for your honesty, you sharing honestly about your situation is really important, that is you are seeing the situation for what it was and what you need to do about it. I believe in my experience not being honest is what has lead me to a larger problems. Decieving or hiding sin in any way is going to drive away the Spirit and I think that Satan is likely to try and work on each one of us to try and justify our sins just even a little bit, because the next time it will be all the easier to jump across the line. I don't mean to sound harsh, this is just from my experience and thinking about what I wish I would have done to avoid the problems that I am facing right now. Something I am also learning is that when I am truly repentant I am willing ot do nearly anything to fix the problem and I don't have anything to hide. I hope this helps . . . good luck to you

posted at 10:29:10 on August 27, 2014 by sjanderson
My 3 cents    
"My understanding is that if the sin you commit would keep you from getting a temple recommend, then you must go to your bishop. Maddy is right about the touching part, if that happened. That would keep you from getting a recommend."
posted at 05:00:53 on August 28, 2014 by Healed
It's been a while    
"Wow it's been a long time for me. Ever since my last blog a lot of things happened. First off I ended it with the girl, told my bishop and met with the stake president. Also told the father of the girl and after a year of apologies and doing my best to stay on the repentance process we met for the first time and talked about what happened and what feelings we had about it. I'm glad I stopped everything that was going on between us because I know now that those things weren't even close to being good for us and at the same time I was forsaking my priesthood duties, so that's good! Thanks for all of your input! I truly felt the full powers of the atonement and continue to! Now I'm just preparing to serve my mission which I haven't gotten the call yet so I'm still waiting and just preparing!"
posted at 03:56:42 on August 3, 2015 by Stonecarver

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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988