By they_speak
8/17/2014 10:23:28 AM
I'm FINALLY doing my 4th step and so far is been wonderful. What a relief to more clearly see my own heavy burdens keeping me from accepting Christ's light burden. How interesting it is to see how much effort and energy I put into protecting my ego instead of letting Christ's grace be sufficient and manifest. Pride is so heavy. Taxing. And yet I fight SO hard for it. If the book of Ether is not a testament to that...

Anyway, I realized I can ceate GOOD triggers. An important one for me I call the militant lawyer. I've realized through hours of inventory that when my militant lawyer (lol some of you may have met him ;) ) comes out - when I'm willing to fight to the death to prove I'm right or be proved wrong - I'm protecting something much deeper. And it's an illusion. It's time to close up shop and go back to the spiritual drawing board. It can, in a twist of irony, serve to trigger me to more spiritual awareness. Militant lawyer can either short circuit grace or help me find it.


"I'm gonna miss the militant lawyer! :)"
posted at 10:37:19 on August 17, 2014 by Anonymous
I don't suppose God expects me to be completely humorless :)    
"I'm sure he'll still be around. But he'll hopefully be good for something besides proving a point."
posted at 11:52:23 on August 17, 2014 by they_speak
I like you!    
"Thanks for sharing. I always enjoy what you write. This post has a good feel to it."
posted at 16:49:08 on August 17, 2014 by Summer
glad to hear of your success    
"THEY Speak,
glad to hear ou are finding these things out about yourself. I too am doing my step four inventory right now and I hope to find those same things that I need to be changing myself as well. It is so nice to realize that there are deeper feelings an issues that are at the root of my addiction.

posted at 11:35:50 on August 18, 2014 by sjanderson
"Keep at it, They_Speak, You Can Do It :D"
posted at 11:43:11 on August 18, 2014 by Anonymous
Positive triggers    
"Hmmm I like this idea!

Positive triggers for me....thunder and lightning. Seeing a best friends text or when their number comes up on my phone. Walking into a clean house. That feeling AFTER a workout.

Ya there are so many more, but these are the first things that came to my mind. Not super spiritual I guess, but they are special to me. When these things happen I feel a lightness and a relaxation come over me. It's easier for me to make a better choice after one of these things happen.

Anyway, sorry for taking this is a slightly different direction."
posted at 09:26:20 on August 19, 2014 by maddy
The Mormon Church    
"the mormon church+guilt=shame.

Shame is a deterrent to sobriety. It is our shame and the constant reminder that we are not good enough that keeps us in the addiction. Let go, Let god. Surrender it all to the God of your understanding, and then see what he/she can do with you, without all of the shame.

Meditating on god's love will do more for you then anything else will.

posted at 14:41:58 on August 21, 2014 by Anonymous

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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006