problems with my bishop
By sharkeisha
7/15/2014 9:33:51 PM
soo i already talked sometimes my bishop and i was like opening to him slowly but i was doing it, i was like trying if i could trust him but but goshh he is such a son of basldk?? in my last interview he was asking me how was i doing i felt like: dont tell him your problems so i was all like im okei :) and he was like you know im a good person and im only here trying to help i really love everybody in this ward trust y wont tell anyone this will stay only with god me and youu.. thanks God i didnt said anything... you know what he is the most hypocrite person i have ever known :| he is telling that my family is a bad example a he is telling the other member like stay away from that family they are not a good example they are a bad family they will take you with them... like why in the world a bishop tell that to the other memberss men im really dissapointed i know he is just a man and that hes not perfect but whyy God???? whyyyy did i had to confess my sin to him he is not helping at all he is making all my life harder and btw my problem with porn and masturbation its not getting better


more and more problems??    
"im so scared he will tell my mom or other person.. im sure something bad is going to happen"
posted at 21:37:04 on July 15, 2014 by sharkeisha
I am sorry to hear about your struggles    
I am sad to hear that you are struggling. My heart and prayers go out to you. I am not sure the answerto your questions. I know for me that as i struggled alone I would only be able to white knuckle any kind of recovery. Being willing to confess and face the truth that I was not able to recover on my own was the key to begining my recovery. I am far from anwhere I need to be. i went to see my own bishop last night and I am needing to get some things straightened out in order to be able to baptize my daughter who is going to be eight in Septmber. The results of the meeting with the Bishop last night didn't make my wife happy at all, but i have to reach out for help even though my wife is angry and hurt and disappointed with me.

Do you have someone you can trust and be COMPLETELY honest with? As i mentioned above when I began to be more and more honest with myself and others I have begun to make progress in my life. You might try for a sponsor someone who might be able to help you work through your challenges. My heart and prayers go out to you!

posted at 06:58:11 on July 16, 2014 by sjanderson
"Hey sweetie,

I am going to give you some terrible advice ok? Just know that I am speaking from my own messed up place and so I don't expect anyone to listen to me, but I'm kind of crazy so I talk anyway. So here it is:

Listen to you gut!

If you feel like he is untrustworthy, then do. not. trust. him. Bishops are just dudes. They try hard and they have a tough job, but they fall prey to all the same faults of all the rest of us. If something inside you is saying that you shouldn't share details with him... then don't.

But go talk to someone. Stake pres would be the next on my list of people to go talk to. If you can get a therapist to work with then that is just one more piece of the recovery puzzle and and help you along the road. All the better. Just find someone who is safe and you can talk to.

Forgive your bishop. He's a goober. I can say that confidently and without knowing him because we all are goobers. Offer him the same forgiveness you want for yourself. That doesn't mean be vulnerable around him, but it does mean let go of his issues and hold no bad feelings towards him even if he is being a gossip and a hypocrite.

The bad this man does to you and your family is his ugly. It may hurt you, but you can let go of that hurt and keep moving. Don't let him pull you down.

And about the porn and masturbation thing. Sweetie, please don't beat yourself up. If you were my daughter I'd tell you to just love yourself exactly the way you are. Just be patient and try to get a little better each day. You're hooked on something that isn't good for you, but it's not going to go away by feeling down about it. Actually, porn and masturbation is just a way to try and lift yourself out of the dumps. Feeling bad about it just puts you back in the dumps even more and the cycle continues. I want you to believe in how awesome you are. I want you to know how beautiful you are. I want you to feel how much God loves you. When you focus on those TRUTHS, then you don't crave the addiction.

I guess my whole point is don't let the bishop bother you, and don't let the addiction bother you either. You are awesome and God is awesome and that is all that matters.

posted at 23:13:25 on July 16, 2014 by maddy
This will not beat you.    
"Take heart, you are a great person, this struggle will pass, you have started the healing process, you will overcome this but need to continue with help and support. Now the Bishop, if he is speaking to others about you, confront him, he needs to stop. I would not pass judgement on him until he has a chance to answer you, most Bishops hold in confidence these type of things but some make mistakes, I would ask him about what you heard. Your Mom, she will love you no matter what, she will want the best for you and be willing to help, don't hide from her. Most parents have enough life experience to understand no one is perfect, that is the reason for the Savior, we are all gong to make mistakes, and will for our entire life. Your's just happens to be this right now, once your overcome this problem there will be another, that's life, it's one of the ways we grow, it's tough at times but keep getting up and you will see the growth. Let me ask you, if your best friend had this problem, would that make him bad? would you not be his friend? Your problem is common, it just needs your focus and those close to you(Mom, Bishop, and others deemed helpful) to overcome, the battle will take some time, but don't hide in secrecy, that is Satan's tool. Do you best and that will be enough, the Lord loves you, he is real. I like the quote, "take action or be acted upon, you choose"."
posted at 10:07:32 on July 17, 2014 by Anonymous
"I was being tempted to look at sexual and pornographic materials on the Internet. So I made a rule. Every time I am alone I needed to listen to a hymn (at least four verses) before I can do anything on the Internet. Satan and demons hate the hymns of the LORD. It has also magnified my love for Heavenly Father and temptation has lessened greatly.

If you have private Internet access I would remove it from your life to prevent a stumbling block in your walk with the LORD."
posted at 00:47:12 on July 19, 2014 by Anonymous
"Hey one more thing about your should tell the stake president what your Bishop is doing. That needs to get fixed asap."
posted at 12:23:46 on July 19, 2014 by maddy

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"By emulating the Master, who endured temptations but “gave no heed unto them,” we, too, can live in a world filled with temptations “such as [are] common to man”. Of course Jesus noticed the tremendous temptations that came to him, but He did not process and reprocess them. Instead, He rejected them promptly. If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us! Turning these unwanted lodgers away at the doorstep of the mind is one way of giving “no heed.” Besides, these would-be lodgers are actually barbarians who, if admitted, can be evicted only with great trauma."

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987