i dont know what i need
By sharkeisha
5/20/2014 6:51:52 PM
so im sorry if i make a mistake in my writing because my first language is spanish. helloww i'm a 17 lds young women and i have pornography and masturbation problems and im here because i dont know whats what i need because this year i talked with my bishop exactly march 9 it was super hard for me because im a women and well i struggle with this problem since im 8 years old or maybe 7 i still remembrr how it al started. since my last interview with my bishop we never talked again he just gave some scriptures to read and that was it i really dont know what to do because ive already talked with my bishop whats next? i still cant stop, and i dont know if i have bigger problem with masturbation because thats what lead to pornography this moment its really hard for me i dont what to do and i wont speak with my bishop again because i already talked with him and maybe my problem its not that big and its only me crying for some atention :i would like to know if someone specially a women have ever felt like this :(


Hey there    
"Welcome to the site!

First of all let me say that you are totally normal. Almost all teenagers masturbate, boys and girls. Don't think that because you are a girl, this is somehow unusual. Feeling isolated just makes the problem worse. You aren't alone. In fact you are in the majority.

Pornography is just a plague of our time. You are in the majority there as well. Everyone who has internet has been exposed to it.

You said you didn't know what you need. Well, I don't know though specifics, but I can tell you this: all addiction comes from an empty place in our life that we are trying to fill. We use our 'drug' (whether that is porn, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc) to help us feel good, escape from our problems, or feel loved, or whatever we are dealing with. Our bodies become addicted to the chemicals either in our brain or that we introduce and BAM we can't seem to go without our addiction....especially when we get triggered by loneliness, pain, anger or the negative things life throws at us.

What you need is to fill that hole in your life with Jesus instead of porn and masturbation. Sounds cliche and easier said then done. But that is what the 12 Steps are all about. If you haven' already, click on that button to the left that says, "Recover Manual" and get started. Do everything it says to do. It will really help if you work that program.

As far as talking to the Bishop. Yes, go in and tell him that you can't shake this thing. Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if we had a female bishop for the women to go talk to about sexual stuff, but it'll be ok. He may be able to help you, he may not. But the Lord can help you and confession is part of humbling ourselves and letting the Lord into our hearts. Focus more on the Savior and less on the Bishop. A good Bishop interview is more like a private Sunday school class where you get to talk about the Savior and the atonement in a really detailed way. Don't worry about what the Bishop will think of you coming back. The people who come back over and over are the ones who are trying to get better.

Don't be discouraged and don't be afraid. You are awesome! And God loves you! Doesn't matter what we have done. Forgiveness is absolute and it is ours anytime we want it. It doesn't matter if we have to repent a million times of the same thing. It matters that we are trying our best. Just don't give up!

posted at 11:12:24 on May 21, 2014 by maddy
Welcome thanks for sharing    
welcome thanks for sharing your experience. As Maddy said I don't thing that there much unusual about your situation What I mean by that is we all have sinned and have missed our Savior's command of being perfect. We need him completely in all ways and all times. Whatever we struggle with we need to give up our burdens to the Savior to become new people. As maddy said trying to fill our hearts with anything other than our Savior will cause us pain and disappointment because he is the only one who can fill that hole. Best luck you are in my prayers!"
posted at 20:37:37 on May 24, 2014 by sjanderson

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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988