I'm stuck
By Nruuu
1/14/2014 4:38:29 PM
I am 18 years old right now and I have indulged in pornography and mb for a while. I am so stuck and feel so alone. To make matters worse I have a mission call currently and have an appointment to go through the temple in less than a week. I feel so alone and I always pray but never get a response. If I were to not go now I would be looked at as a disappointment to my family and my ward and so many of my friends. I wouldn't know what to tell them if I don't go. If I do go then I am sure I will eat myself alive like I do many nights. I feel so bad about this, and I just don't know what to do. I know the right answer is to tell my bishop this before I make sacred covenants in the temple, but you have no idea how hard that is. I am stuck.


Tell us more    
"Do you live in a part of the church with really strict leadership (like the southeast US), or do you live somewhere more laid back like Utah and California? (We don't need to know exactly where you live)

Did you get a mission call you really like? Is it international?

I went through the temple and into the MTC in your exact situation. I confessed in the MTC and got to stay on my mission. I know of literally dozens of people who have done the exact same thing.

I see young men who stay at home because of porn problems, and my heart breaks for them. I live in an extremely strict stake of the church. I wish these guys would just go and then confess in the MTC. That would be so much easier. This is the opposite of the advice I typically give, but the truth is, you can't let this problem control your life. Don't let it stop you from going on a mission, going to a good school, or getting married."
posted at 19:17:40 on January 14, 2014 by ETTE
my comp    
"I know this is a really really tough situation, but i must share that my companion in the MTC struggled so badly with this also, and he went in and yes got to stay on the mission.... but til this day he struggles with the spirit, and all that. I personally think you should just go and confess... unless its a huge huge problem where you are an addict, do you think your an addict?? But if not... i think you'll be okay and be able to serve and you'll feel the weight off your shoulders. You'll be able to teach with the spirit and you'll be able to reflect back on this moment and realize how perfect the atonement is and how much our father in heaven loves you!! I promise whatever happens the Lord will keep guiding you... mission or not. You're a good kid. Don't beat yourself up... its not about a mission... its about salvation! I love you and hope you do what you feel, and what you think the Lord would be pleased with. Maybe try repenting on your knees which I'm sure you already have... but try again and if you still feel guilty... you know what to do. Once again. Love you and am proud of you for being upfront and honest"
posted at 19:30:35 on January 14, 2014 by inbetween
I don't really know    
"I don't feel like I am an addict but I don't know. I've been off and on and I've done it recently. Facing this problem is going to be the hardest thing I've done in my life so far. The humiliation I am going to feel and already have felt. Thank you for your help."
posted at 19:57:22 on January 14, 2014 by nruuu
think of the Lord    
"Its okay... how long have you had this problem and what's the longest you've gone without? Honestly?.... no judgment here. I'm a recovered sex addict so i know what its like. But think of how the Lord feels... maybe some people judge you, and that's their own problem, but the Lord will be smiling, and so proud of you, and trust me... promise you brother... you will feel so much better after, and be more motivated than ever!!"
posted at 20:02:56 on January 14, 2014 by inbetween
I really appreciate you Inbetween    
"Longest I've gone is probably a month at a time several times and I've had he problem for about 3 years. This problem is honestly making me depressed and it eats at me. I think I have got to tell my bishop tonight."
posted at 20:06:11 on January 14, 2014 by nruuu
"NRUUU i want you to do something... read the story about the adultery women, with Christ... and how he tells her go and and sin no more... and then i want you talk walk into your bishops office, and pretend as if you were conversing with out Loving Savior... someone who'll love you unconditionally!!! And just be honest with him til the point you're comfortable in front of him. I love you, good luck, and let me know how it goes"
posted at 20:09:08 on January 14, 2014 by inbetween
It's done    
"Well I went to the church tonight and met with my bishop. I told him my problem and he said he was so extremely glad I came to him about this and he said everything's gonna be alright. I don't really know what is going to happen next but I'm glad I don't have this decision on my head anymore. I sat in the foyer of my church for 30 minutes before going there. Trying to make myself to talk to him. I think I made the right choice."
posted at 00:24:53 on January 15, 2014 by Nruuu
no doubt!    
"You for sure made the correct decision brother!! I know that for sure!! Things like that if its an addiction then in needs to be taken to authority. If it only had a coupled times I'd agree you could take it up in your prayers and fast and I believe you'd be good, but addictions are just so tough. Do you have an discipline?"
posted at 02:54:39 on January 15, 2014 by inbetween
My 2 cents    
I echo INBETWEEN's comments you made the right choice!! i have struggled for over twenty years mostly with mb. I confessed to my Stake President and Bishop and things seemed to be okay then over the last 20 things have kept coming back up. I'm getting better now that I understand the chemicals that are invovled in the addiction, I am able to more quickly fight off those tempations to act out. With the Lord's help you can overcome these challenges, you will be that more compassionate as a missionary and capable to help others who struggle with changing their lives. Good luck, your in my prayers"
posted at 07:40:45 on January 15, 2014 by sjanderson
"Did anything happen??"
posted at 00:55:01 on January 23, 2014 by Anonymous

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"Don’t live your life in despair, feeling sorry for yourself because of the mistakes you have made. Let the sunshine in by doing the right things—now. It may be difficult to begin, but pick up the scriptures and immerse yourself in them. Look for favorite passages. Lean on the Master’s teachings, on His servants’ testimonies. Refresh your parched soul with the word of God. The scriptures will give you comfort and the strength to overcome. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990