I was going to bed, but....
By SeekingHelp
10/18/2013 2:10:43 AM
.....I need to get a few thoughts out and this is the place to do it.

As I have mentioned I have fallen into the down ward spiral that is this addiction. I hate myself for it, but it happened and it keeps happening. I was doing so good and now I'm just not. I see how this is affecting my everyday life. As I look back I realize all of the problems I have ever had in life are due to this addiction. When I am doing good I don't have as many problems living my life as when I am trapped in the pit of this addiction. Is it just me who has noticed this?

Anyways, I am feeling drawn to the meetings, like Heavenly Father is telling me I should go. At the same time I am telling myself that I need to attend a meeting specific to my addiction, but the only ones close to me are for men only and I feel like that would be WAY too awkward. And like I said before, even if I find a meeting I know I wouldn't go in. I would sit in the parking lot.

Anyways.... The support of my bishop helped before and I am thinking I will need that again.... I dunno I guess this is just me getting my thoughts out. And I know I can get advice here and actually have people that want me to do better. I also know that everyone here will hold me accountable for the things I need to do and will encourage me to do the things I need.....

Aaaaand now its time for bed


from the book Jesus Calling    
"This book has a daily vignette with scripture references that reminds us not to look sideways, but to look up. I hope it will help you as much as it helps me.

Try to stay conscious of Me as you go step by step through this day. My Presence with you is both a promise and a protection. My final statement just before I ascended into heaven was: Surely I am with you always. That promise was for all of My followers, without exception.

The promise of My Presence is a powerful protection. As you journey through your life, there are numerous pitfalls along the way. Many voices clamor for your attention, enticing you to go their way. A few steps away from your true path are pits of self-pity and despair, plateaus of pride and self-will. If you take your eyes off Me and follow another’s way, you are in grave danger. Even well-meaning friends can lead you astray if you let them usurp My place in your life. The way to stay on the path of Life is to keep your focus on Me. Awareness of My Presence is your best protection.

“And teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:20

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. —Hebrews 12:1–2

I'm wishing you a beautiful day ahead :)"
posted at 07:37:16 on October 18, 2013 by angelmom
There is a way    
"There's a lot of resources out there for you. If you want to know more about them, just let me know and I will post them here. Some people do need to travel a distance to go to meetings. One idea is maybe contact one of the men that run a meeting in your area and ask them if they could change to being a mixed gender meeting.

Maybe I've already told you about this, but have you checked WISA (Women in SA)? Here's a link to their site. Maybe they can even help you get a sponsor. And you can find phone meetings here. WISA: />
The cause or the symptom?    
"I'm sorry, I just quickly read posts and replies, so I apologize if what I say has already been said or if it doesn't directly apply.

I latched onto the sentence, "As I look back I realize all of the problems I have ever had in life are due to this addiction."

I admit that this addiction probably occured at the same time as other problems in your life, but I don't think this addiction caused your problems. I think it's more likely you got into this addiction during the most stressful, difficult, and problematic moments in your life because you were looking for a way to escape from life.

In other words, this addiction doesn't cause all your problems. This addiction is the escape and coping mechanism you seem to always use whenever problems come up.

Why does it matter?

Well, if you learn new coping mechanisms and new ways to deal with problems, challenges, and stress, you will not need this addiction any more.

At the same time, if you get rid of this addiction, your problems will not go away. Life will always be challenging, stressful, and even tempting. And, you will know how to deal with it.

You are not this problem. It doesn't define you. You are loved infinitely. It's not time to change who you are, it's time to learn how to live a more balanced life and take better care of yourself so you won't crave an escape."
posted at 20:09:40 on October 18, 2013 by beclean

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"Man has a dual nature; one, related to the earthly or animal life; the other, akin to the divine. Whether a man remains satisfied within what we designate the animal world, satisfied with what the animal world will give him, yielding without effort to the whim of his appetites and passions and slipping farther and farther into the realm of indulgence, or whether, through self-mastery, he rises toward intellectual, moral, and spiritual enjoyments depends upon the kind of choice he makes every day, nay, every hour of his life"

— David O. McKay