By nbar1234
4/9/2013 11:35:19 AM
I am a 19 year old male. I use to be strong into the church, I always paid my tithing, went to all my meetings, prayed every night, read scriptures, abd basically did everything my heart desired. When I was 16 my family moved to a new ward and there I met a very beautiful girl. We started to talk and she confessed she liked me and from there we started to hit it off. We considered our selves boyfriend and girlfriend and we were seriously in love, we never did anything bad and were never alone, we even planned on getting married, like i said we were in love but it was too early of an age, we had so many great memories. This lasted for two years until she joined the schools dance team and changed from sweet beautiful girl to stuck up rude girl and out pf nowhere we quit talking. This broke my heart and basically i went down the wrong way which was my fault. I started to masturbate which months later it turned into porn. I started to skip church meetings and i eventually went tp church twice a month. I lost faith, I quit paying tithing, I lost hope in heavenly father, I was confused, lost and depressed. Soon after i met another girl who was lds but she led me down a wrong path pressuring me do things sexually. I am now as guilty as can be and it was my fault for letting this all happen. The past couple of months, I had a strong desire to serve and LDS mission and repent, I just dont know where to start? I have no friends anymorr to support me I have guilt and I am depressed what I did. My mission was my dream, and now its gone, its too late. I dont know where to start with repentance. I am scared to confess to my bishop. I need thayt special input I need info, I need help and I am confessing it. I do have a desire. VERY STRONG to get back on tje right path.


Finding Hope    
"NBAR, my heart aches for you. It sounds as though you have made some mistakes that many people have made. You are not alone in that regard. Even if you have a glimmer of hope in your heart, I would suggest talking to your Bishop and working with him. It will be difficult. It will be embarrassing but it will be well worth it once that burden has been lifted from your shoulders."
posted at 11:45:28 on April 9, 2013 by stayingclean
It's hard    
"We try Really hard and then we screw up. You can do this. It is possible. God sees us for our potential. Your dream is not gone. I believe in you."
posted at 12:36:14 on April 9, 2013 by Anonymous
I had to smile    
"Because I just read a letter from my son who is serving a mission. After nearly a year, for the first time he sounded discouraged and beaten down. He is questioning his faith and his ability to be a missionary.

You would think as a mom of a missionary, this would be bad news, but really it is great news. Why? Because this is the place where testimonies are built stronger. This is place where the plan is at it's best. Where Satan introduces doubt. This is where he has the choice to exercise faith in a Father who has an amazing plan, just for him. This trial is keeping him searching. It is rare that we find our faith when life is going just the way we want.

Your situation makes me think about my son's situation. You are experiencing doubt in the Father's plan for you. You are lacking that he can do for you what he say's he can do. Guess what? He is just waiting for you to step into the darkness, take the plunge, & toss your fear over a cliff. It is at that very moment that he will begin to show you exactly what you are made of. You are His and if you will only let go, He will take over and show you miracles in your life. All you need to do is move your feet and he will do the rest.

There is nothing you have done that excludes you from the Father's plan. Christ already atoned for you. He already suffered and died on the cross just for you. He has enough confidence in you and in His Father's plan that he was willing to do all of that.

You are already on the right path because you are here. He has already forgiven you, you just need to go through a few more little steps. If you will let him, he will lighten you burden.

Your Bishop is waiting for a call from you and he is excited to get to work helping you so that you can get to work helping others!!!

Don't give up. You are on the verge of something amazing...

You are more...

Go for it... You are ready :)"
posted at 13:02:55 on April 9, 2013 by angelmom
"And so it begins....

Somedays this site makes me crazy and other times I just love it. Reading your post made me love being here because it is such a beautiful thing to see a broken heart reach out for healing. "Beautiful thing?!?!?!" You might scream at me? "Try being the one with a broken heart!!!! It aint beautiful at all lady!!!" Well, I can tell you that I have been the one with a broken heart, a few times as a matter a fact, and what I've learned is that God loves broken things. He loves the broken heart. It is then we are teachable. It really is amazing and wonderful.

Don't despair. There is a way out of this hole. It may seem dark, but I testify that there is light and it can be yours. There is NOTHING you have done that cannot be healed and forgiven. Just be brave enough to do whatever it takes to get there. You've already taken the first step by starting to admit to yourself.

Recovery can be a roller coaster ride. There are ups and there are downs. Just don't quit. Like I tell everyone who comes here, start with the 12 Steps. Download the manual to your left and start on page 1. It is tried and proven. And when you finish it, go back and do it again and then again.

Like Angel said, the Atonement is already paid. You are already forgiven. You were forgiven before you sinned. All you need to do is lay claim to that promise that was already offered.

The 12 Steps will also help you deal with these relationships in your past. I can hear regret deeply in your 'voice'. The amazing thing about the Atonement is that it can actually change, not just our future, but our past as well. Not the events necessarily, but it can change how they effects us and how we see them. Regret can turn to acceptance, and eventually peace and even gratitude. The 12 Steps will work you through the harm you have done and your responsibility in events as well as the harm others have done to you.

Welcome to our site. I hope you find support and help here. Try and find support groups and build a network there. You can do this! The Lord is on your side!

posted at 21:42:02 on April 9, 2013 by maddy
The bishop is your key    
"You can't do this on your own. That's the biggest lie I told myself. I thought that if I would just stop, I'd be fine. It never did get fine and I find myself unworthy for both the temple and a mission. It doesn't work.

So my advice is to get ready. Pray everyday to get ready to confess. Start studying on confession and maybe fast. That is your key, your bishop will help."
posted at 00:50:20 on April 10, 2013 by mint

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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988