Step 4
By SimonLeper
3/21/2013 12:34:16 PM
I have just started step 4. Does anyone have any suggestions of the best way to proceed? Any advice would be appreciated.


Its a lot bigger than LDS ARP suggests..    
"The LDS version is not very good and is not very detailed. You could finish it in 20 minutes. Its probably why the LDS ARP program doesn't have as much success. (my opinion only)

A real program will take many hours to complete. IT took me 3-4 months to complete step 4. Its important to list out all your resentments AND harms you've done to others. Then understand the root of each of those areas.

My sponsor took me through a series of excel documents that looked like that attachments in this site. />
I documented all my fears, resentments, harm to others, sex conduct and then documented the causes of it. It was a scary icky process that I could only do in small time chunks without wanting to cry or barf.

I do know that 4th step was the core to understanding me and helping me manage sobriety. After documenting my my fears and flaws in myself, it was easier to recognize when I was doing them again.. If I was feeling resentful toward a co-worker I would realize that I was feeling entitled and I needed to back off and repent myself..

have fun. "
"Thanks for the help."
posted at 12:35:14 on March 26, 2013 by SimonLeper
i disagree with anon!    
"lds 12 step has helped MANY!!!!!!!! the spirit is so strong in those rooms and the manual. You don't have to take 3 to 4 months with it......I suggest totally using a sponsor why your doing it and stay in contact with them alot cuz step 4 is a killer. I relapse on it before cuz I didn't use a sponsor at the time and I went in big pity party of myself and relapse to numb all the painful stuff I wrote down. It was awful. Just again use a sponsor who has done step 4 and has sobriety and you feel total comfortable with.
Also PRAY! pray pray pray. Heavenly Father will help you what you need to get out. After my major prayer, I thought of things that I didn't realize bother me so bad but once after my prayer and I was writing, things came clear to me to write down and get out. Step 4 is very theraputic but got use Lord hand in this with you. Peace and good luck. It's a hard step but so worth it."
posted at 11:17:00 on March 28, 2013 by marie sober

Add a Comment:

***Anonymous User***     (login above to post UN-anonymously)

"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006