Put Your Trust in God
By J R
4/5/2007 12:11:53 AM
"Are you battling a demon of addiction—tobacco or drugs, or the pernicious contemporary plague of ography? Whatever other steps you may need to take to resolve these concerns, come first to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Trust in heaven’s promises. In that regard Alma's testimony is my testimony: "I do know," he says, "that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions."— Jeffrey R. Holland, General Conference, April 2006

I saw this quote at the top of the page. I add my testimony to those of Alma and Elder Holland, because I have been supported in various trials, including addiction and divorce. I know that even when no other help is available, our Savior is ALWAYS there. No concern is too insignificant for His notice, and no one is beyond the reach of His love. He is especially mindful of us who are struggling. As He said, ". . . They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick . . . I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Matthew 9:12-13).

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I'll never, no never,
I'll never, no never,
I'll never, no never, no never forsake!"
("How Firm a Foundation", Hymns #85, verse 7)

This verse sustained early Church members through some terrible persecutions. It has also strengthened me in difficult times.


I'd like one of those too....    
"You have respond to some of my notes, so I thought I would do the same.

I am trying to learn, how to make the scripts important to me. I was raised in the church with what I call a dad who was pretty gospel smart. He was really big into the gospel symbols and stuff like that. he knew alot and shared some things with me from time to time, but our relasioship has suffered due to the things I have done, and well he doesnt talk with me that much and puts me the catagory of the villians in the book of mormon. He also says that my brother is worse than ALMA when he was rebelling. I am sure that doesn't make Alma very happy that he said that.

I'd like to learn of the power of the scripts, because, sometimes I don't feel it. Its not like "WOW I read this and I feel so much better' or 'I read this and now my life has changed' I feel most of the time that I miss something. I feel spiritually handicaped, because of my choices. I feel cut off, because of being ex'd.

I guess I try to find hope and encouargement, but find it hard, very hard, because I have been cast off in a sense. And sometimes its hard to see, 'the lord loves you and forgives you' when i can't even be a member of his church. I am not invited to the party. Maybe no one else knows what I am feeling, unless they have been ex'd I dont know. I know that some folks are ex'd and happy about it, where me, i am not. I am sad.

I found myself having 'daddy and son time' and i was talking about pray and trusting the lord, i was driving the car and he was in the back i am glad, because I was teary eyed because I don't believe it. I want to, but I don't feel the desire to, as when i do, something goes wrong or bad things happen. I dont know what the magic solution is. I dont know what or where this strength everyone talks about is. i don't know how to cast my burdens on him, when i am not even a member of the church. i don't have the spirit, duh i know that. and like people have said, you have listend to satan for song long its going to take time to hear him, I was like if he is so much more powerful, then why can't i hear the 'rushing waters'?

I suppose i have just lost my way again, and to keep getting back up seems hopeless.
I prayed the other day and a thought came to my mind....
I used to enjoy watching this movie called the 'never ending story' was popular back in the 80's. there was a scene in which atreu was traveling on this quest and part of it was through the 'swamps of sadness'. his trusted friend and horse drowned in the swamp. and well he was sad. As he was going on his quest he wasnt happy, he was hurt, he lost his friend, he was injured, and probably cold, as mud tends to be that way. he was walking along and trying to make his way, but he started to sink in the quick sand, and started to drown, it got up to his face and then the heavens open and this white flying dragon came and resuced him..and got his wounds bandaged up etc.

I have felt like I drowned and no one has come to save me or rescue me. My linds says He is aware of you, and I was like ya, just like the apostles on the water, when we was afar off, he was just watching. and I was like is that all he does, watch? i wish I knew. He went then to save them on the 4th watch (was it?), so when is my 4th watch? how long? this seems to much to bear. it really does.
i hope i can hold on, cause i dont feel like it anymore."
posted at 20:50:39 on April 8, 2007 by skyteamst90
The 4th Watch    
"Please forgive me for retelling this story if you are familiar with it. It is the one I referred to with the 7th verse of "How Firm a Foundation." (BTW, I have something to say about excommunication, too.)

About the time Gov. Boggs of Missouri issued the extermination order to force all of the Mormons out of the state, a mob attacked a small settlement named Haun's Mill. After they brutally murdered or wounded almost all of the men and boys, they took all the horses and wagons. Then they kept watch over the area, so the surviving men, after hastily burying the dead in a well, fled for their lives. The women and children had little to eat and were threatened with death if the mob caught them praying. Amanda Smith's husband and one of her three sons were killed, and her 8-year-old son Alma's hip had been shot away. There was no way to leave and no medical help available. She cared for her son the best she could. After several days, she could not continue. She was so desperate that she was willing to risk death in order to pray for help. She sneaked out into the middle of a cornfield away from the houses, then cried out to the Lord for help. While she was praying, the words of the hymn came into her mind. "The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes. . . That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake!" Then she knew that the Lord was with her and that she could go on. I'm not sure of the timing, but she was told what to do for her son's hip. In time, gristle grew to fill the hole and form a new joint, so that he was able to walk. Meanwhile, when the mob came back and asked why she was still there, she told them that she was caring for her son who could not travel and was brave enough to say that she needed food. Later, one of the mob butchered a pig and left it on her doorstep.

As for excommunication, no, I haven't been there. I had a roommate once who was on probation and couldn't participate in Church meetings although he attended regularly. I have experienced lesser forms of probation. And earlier in my addiction, based on a friend's advice (I was not brave or wise enough to talk to the bishop), I gave up a calling to serve in the temple, abstained from taking the Sacrament for over a year, did not attend the temple, and turned down various priesthood assignments that I did not feel worthy of. I also know what it is like to choose not to follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost, and the guilt that comes with it. No, these aren't the same as excommunication, although there are some common elements.

One thing that surprised me is that there were actually some bright spots in that dark period. I had a chance to do farm chores for my brother's friend while he and my brother were at Scout camp. I found a new talent in writing music. I was able to research my family history.

Pres. Kimball said that the Lord usually blesses us through someone else, and that is true in my life. The Lord's help in my life comes a little at a time, through family or friends, a thought while someone is talking in Church, a verse of scripture or a hymn in which a word or a phrase stands out. Or I make a commitment that I have made and broken dozens of times, and this time my heart is different and I keep it.

I know the Lord lives and loves me personally. If He didn't, I could not have made the little changes, would not have made the friends I have, or heard the words of encouragement I needed. I still would not know that I am addicted! My wife had to tell me that, before our divorce, but after therapists had convinced me that I wasn't. And I would not know what peace is, because it has come only through forgiving others, repenting, obeying the commandments, and serving others. Without Him, I could not do these things and would not feel worthy to serve anyone. My life still is not easy, but it is worth living because of my Savior. He lives!"
posted at 23:08:04 on April 8, 2007 by J R

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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation”. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006