Am I Lesbian?...
By SmileInTears
11/21/2012 1:27:10 AM
I'm not sure how to pose this question. But I think the answer might be yes or partially. I am engaged to be married but when I search for porn, I search for lesbian stuff. I don't care for the heterosexual stuff. I have always compared myself to the porn star girls, and that's what I've told myself and others being why I look for girls. But the heterosexual stuff doesn't arouse me. The lesbian stuff does. In actual life girls don't arouse me. Doing something makes me shudder. I've done stuff with guys before and I know guys arouse me. I think I'm a little too comfortable with lesbian porn for a girl makes me wonder about myself...


Stop it!    
"When you look at images and become aroused you are conditioning your brain. Addiction is about the brain. Sexual addiction or lust addiction is conditioning our brain to receive all the feel good chemicals that God created us to experience in a bonded relationship. Our brain cannot tell the difference between reality and fiction when we look at images for sexual arousal and release. It just wants to feel good. It is really a subconscious drive for those feel good chemicals. So stop conditioning Your brain with porn. Pray to get the help you need. You are not a lesbian."
posted at 01:43:38 on November 21, 2012 by Anonymous
"Not to encourage porn at all, but as far as women looking at porn goes, it's actually very common for women to look at lesbian or solo-female material. I'm not going to go into all the reasons for it, but rest assured, you just have the one problem (porn) and don't need to worry about a second one. You still sound perfectly straight, and good luck with your continued efforts to beat this :)"
posted at 17:05:02 on November 26, 2012 by Anonymous
"I used to work for a major satellite entertainment company. One of the channels was the Playboy channel. Most of the subscribers were female. And they were mostly straight. So, I don't really think this means you area lesbian."
posted at 17:43:45 on November 26, 2012 by Anonymous
me too    
"I too have experienced the same thing. I identify as straight, but I too am aroused by lesbian images. but in real life it disgusts me. I cannot imagine ever engaging sexually with a woman. It was explained to me that this is very common for all women. Also, due to trauma in my past from men, lesbian pn was safe for me because all sexual experiences prior with men had negative, painful associations with them. Its very natural."
posted at 21:38:50 on November 26, 2012 by Anonymous
"Thank you for bringing up this topic. Can I ask another question to the addict husband looked at gay porn. Does it mean he's bisexual, gay, curious? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!"
posted at 06:15:49 on November 27, 2012 by Anonymous
"It means he is aroused by men."
posted at 07:34:06 on November 27, 2012 by Anonymous
"I am tempted to look at women lustfully. I am tempted to look up pornography on the Internet. I am tempted to masturbate. I do my best not to do these things though. Does this mean I am an adulterer and sexually immoral? No, it means I am tempted to do sin.

We are not "homosexual" or "sexually immoral" unless we choose to become so and act out in sin. If we are enticed to sin in homosexual ways it does not mean we are homosexual. Only if we give in to the sin and choose not to repent do we become so."
posted at 00:39:15 on November 28, 2012 by Anonymous
Gay and Lesbian is not a final state    
"I'm glad you wrote about this. I have some pretty strong opinions about this topic. See my post, entitled "Profound link about SSA." Although the post is about male SSA and homosexuality I believe you may be surprised by what you find. I can't say enough about how brilliant this paper is.

I have just gone through a confession of sorts with my wife. I too looked at same sex pornography for a long time. I have wondered why I am drawn to it as well. The paper addresses many of these points. I wonder if a female will relate to these. I think you will be able to apply them.

I will be writing more about this in the future but I would have to do in depth so I'll have to take my time. But I plan on presenting my findings in this forum.

The best advice I can give you is to echo some of the advice that people have already shared with you. Some of the posts have more wisdom than others. But know this, you are not a lesbian. To be a lesbian you would not only have to perform lesbian acts but you would have to believe you are a lesbian first above everything else in your life. But the truth is that you are a daughter of God first before you are anything else. It is no secret that you have some SSA issues. But if your Toyota has timing belt issues or leaks oil does it cease to be a Toyota first? No, it's a Toyota with some specific issues that can be addressed. But even if it sat in a junkyard and abandoned forever it would still be considered a Toyota.

Sorry for such a crude analogy but I believe it's fitting. Satan would have us believe a lie about ourselves at every turn. One of the most insidious and most effective is that you are not a child of God. Satan railed, "Moses, Son of Man, worship me." The world has created it's own mythology. It has the world up on ends screaming down any of us who do not believe as it believes. There is no such thing as gay as they call it.

To be Gay is a final state. If you believe that you are gay then you can no longer believe that God is as he is. To believe you are gay means you accept the worldview that you are 1) born that way 2) have no other choice 3) as legitimate as heterosexual 4) not all people are born heterosexual 5) not in the wrong 6) interpret everything else through the gay perspective

This is a very powerful concoction. People have been drinking this elixir since the sons of Adam turned on a narcissistic dime. To say that there is no such thing as being gay does not mean that there is not SSA because there always have been and will always be those that struggle with this attraction. It is as real as anything. To say that there is not a final gay state is not to say that there is not a gay lifestyle. It is simply to reject the notion that this is anything more than a lifestyle choice. Gay is not a final resting place and it never could be.

Heterosexual is simply stating that people are born male and female. It is saying that only males and females can together produce offspring. It does not deny that there are some that are attracted to children. It does not deny that some are attracted to members of their own sex. Sex is an act. Desire is a state. Living a life based on an act of desire does not sustain itself well and would need an entire new set of rules to excuse itself in the long term. This is what has happened.

Gay is now a legitimized third sex. There is male, there is female, there is gay. But this is a lie. With this line of reasoning we may even reject the term heterosexual. According to The Oxford American Dictionary the term heterosexual means "feeling or involved sexual attraction to persons of the opposite sex." We are born asexual beings, sucking at the teats of our mothers. This is not incest. But it would be considered incest if there were sexual feelings present. Babies have none such. We are not born into a state of sexuality.

We are not born straight or gay. We are born infants, blank slates with the light of Christ. It is only later that we develop sexual feelings which lead the sexual arousal. And what arouses us will depend on nurture just as much as our natures. That we grow into sexuality is sure. But that we are thumbprinted from birth is a lie. Believe that babies can get sexually aroused based on thoughts alone is akin to saying that babies prefer big breasts over small breasts but simply choose to ignore this over fear that they would hurt their mother's feelings, should she have smallish breasts.

In conclusion I know this is exhaustive but so to is the state that got us here in the first place both as a society and as an individual. I too suffer from SSA pornography. But this does not mean I'm a homosexual. Many would laugh me down. But the greatest thing I have done lately is to explain this in depth to my wife while exposing myself to ridicule, rejection and hostility. She has show none of these but has accepted me, has trusted me and has loved me.

If you haven't told your fiance I would suggest that you do. We are only as sick as our secrets. I believe that with the right approach we can route this desire from our lives. Good luck and God bless you. I look forward to your reply, should you have one. "
posted at 06:49:06 on December 1, 2012 by SimonLeper

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"My spiritual prescription includes six choices which I shall list alphabetically, A through F:
  • Choose to Be Alive
  • Choose to Believe
  • Choose to Change
  • Choose to Be Different
  • Choose to Exercise
  • Choose to Be Free "

    — Russell M. Nelson

    General Conference, October 1988