about my bishop/dad
By chiswright
10/21/2012 8:25:03 PM
I honestly am very stuck right now...i just slipped up again...i am becoming terribly addicted to p*rn...

This blog is a forums blog...even if you just come on here to look, please leave a comment that could maybe help me...

My real dilemma right now is my dad. who is also my bishop. My addiction is not only all of the normal things wrong, but is 1)not what anyone would ever expect from the "bishops son", 2) very hard because he gives all of these great sermons to my family and i sit there and feel guility, 3) the worst reason is that ive met with him before and i could tell he felt very dissapointed in me...i dont know what to do...i dont know if i should tell him again, even though im nearing the one year mark, and he thinks ive stopped, and dissapoint him all over again, or just keep this between you guys and heavenly father, and try to work this out with only them...i have kind of made a deal with myself to tell him if i slip up again this month...i just dont know if i can stay true to my promise. i need a booost or something, or maybe an alternative, or just some way to get me over this addiction so that i dont completely feel guility all the time...

Fellow brothers and sisters in Moroni's army, please help me to take this addiction, this bomb of mass destruction, this very powerful number that hurts us all so much, and destroy anything that stands in the way of a fellow member of the army to spread the gospel, and CRUSH IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I've realized we can only get through this if we work together here on earth, to help each other and pull through with DIVINE FAITH and POWER

please help me so i can help you in the future, after i can actually relate to what im to get to, so i may help share the gospel and not dissapoint the father in heaven who guides us all.



Tell Your Dad Now    
"I would bet money he already knows something is wrong. You might have misinterpreted his concern for you as disappointment. You have nothing to gain by waiting. Just get it over with. And look at the bright side, you only have to tell one person. If your dad was not bishop, then you would have to tell the bishop, and then he would say you have to tell your dad."
posted at 23:42:01 on October 21, 2012 by ette
"Is not a respecter of persons and it does not matter that you are "The Bishop's Son" or not. You and you family face the same evil as any other family in your Ward. It is not your dad's position to be disappointed in you or anyone else. God knows you , knows your addiction, and if you dad has any understanding through his experience, he will understand that you are addicted to pn and mast and the moment you became addicted, you lost your agency to choose. If you are addicted, then all you can do now is too turn to Christ. You and your addiction is the very reason that Christ came and died. You need recovery and you need it now. You need love, understanding and hope, a nice sermon is nice, but with an addict, it is just a nice story. I have to believe that your father meet you with love and understanding and will give you what you need while taking the journey right beside you. You must have support.

You are a great young man, and I am sure your dad is a nice Bishop, but you need help, it does not matter who you are. Pretending to hold an image is not what following God is all about. We all have something. Oh how would it be if everyone, you dad included would just do what they use to do in the early days of the church. That is they confessed their sins one to another and often over the pulpit. There was much less judgement because everyone knew everyone else was just like them. Through time we have somehow placed an expectation on each other that we should all be perfect, especially "the Bishop's Son". What a farce.

Sounds like you and your Dad need to start attending ARP ,meetings together to find peace and healing there. Best to you."
posted at 00:46:01 on October 22, 2012 by Anonymous
No One is perfect    
"Seriously. You can do this! It may take time. But be patient with yourself. It's a hard battle."
posted at 05:06:13 on October 22, 2012 by g1rlie
"I'm not sure what to say. But because you asked us to comment no matter what I am.

Maybe if you feel like you're letting your dad down you need to got to someone else. Explain to your dad/bishop that you need to get to a point where you are doing this for you and not to make him proud. You may need that first. Maybe instead of working the issue through with him he can set you up with one of his counsellors or even the SP. IDK...Just my thoughts.

Good luck though. Pat yourself on the back for coming here and admitting you have room for improvement. Not everyone does that."
posted at 09:22:41 on October 22, 2012 by Anonymous
Same Deal    
"I have almost the exact situation, but with a slightly different sin but the same basic idea. I too have confessed to my bishop also my father. I have had to confess multiple times and he too was disappointed in me beyond words. I humbled myself though and talked about it. I couldn't look him in the face the whole time, but I'm glad I did it. It was worth it. I just want to say, I love you bro and understand your troubles, but just do it and confess. In the long run, who cares if your father is disappointed. Is your salvation worth your father's opinion. That was my biggest motivator. In the end, if my father/bishop loves me and still cares then great. If not, I am still in the clear and will not be denied my kingdom. Hang in there and good luck!"
posted at 23:03:11 on November 25, 2012 by Anonymous
Honesty to the Lord    
"I am sure this is not an easy step for you. It takes a lot of faith to act even though you do not know what the outcome may be. I had an experience where I felt I needed to confess something to my stake president that I left out in a pevious interview. I had a slip on my mission and didn't tell anyone. I forgot about it as I continued to serve. When I interviewed with my stake president the day I got home he asked me if I had worthiness problems. For whatever reason, my slip hit me and it hit me hard. I told him no and basically flat out lied in fear that he would be disappointed and thinkn that I didn't serve an honorable mission. Well, I was in the temple on day, and low and behold, my stake president enters into the session and is sitting right next to me. The whole tiem I was in the temple all I could think about was the lie that I told him! Surely something as a slip was not the end of the world. Surely it was soemthing that had happened a year and a half ago...but, i had not brought it before a judge of Israel. So, the next week I swallowed my pride and went to meet with him. I told him everything adn he was actually very grateful. he said that 5 years from now I would be a different man because of the choice I made to come to him. If I would have waited to confess the guilt would have torn me down and i would have probably fallen by now. Honesty is so important. It isn't easy to clean a dirty room in the dark. You may pick up a few things but you can't see the dirt and the dust. But how easy is it to clean a room that is filled with light? Your honesty sheds light on the dirty room and the cleaning gets easier. It will still take time and effort but at least you know what you need to do to become clean. Truth is, your dad stands not as your judge and he is more then just your dad in this situation. He is the only one in the world and holds the priesthood keys to assure you of the lords forgiveness and help you beat this. You will find it a blessing as you are open adn honest with him that he is your bishop. I started going to the 12 step meetings when I was 17. I know you want to beat this and you can! Theh meetings are scary at first but the minute you walk in you will recieve an assurance in your heart fromt he Holy Ghost that you are in teh right place. I'm here for you man. feel free to talk anytime!"
posted at 23:39:53 on November 25, 2012 by Brady
Wake up    
"This is so sad and sick, you gotta realize how much stressed and trauma you people choose to inflict on yourselves. The only difference between you and your bishop/dad is you confess. You can rest assured he's porning out just like you. It's a giant facade and you're just the aftermath."
posted at 01:41:43 on January 7, 2013 by Anonymous
Wake up... really    
"First of all, ignore what "wake up" wrote just above me. I really wish we could delete the voices of pessimism and evil off of this site - I don't know why people feel they need to do that... I guess the same reason people feel they need to protest on temple square. Anyway, don't listen to that voice. As you recover there will be all sorts of voices competing for your attention. Some from God and some not. If it inspires you to do better, then it is of God.

Next, yeah you do need to confess. Addiction thrives in secrecy and the more we keep in, the more likely we are to relapse again. Be open - if he believes the sermons he's teaching (and it sounds like he does), he will treat you as Jesus treats the sinner - with love, compassion, and support.

Have you attended a support group in your area? those helped me so much... to see other guys my age with the same problem, and to see they weren't horrible people, but good people trying to be better. I think that would help you a lot!

Good luck buddy!"
posted at 08:16:33 on January 7, 2013 by recovery.gdo

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"One of the great myths in life is when men think they are invincible. Too many think that they are men of steel, strong enough to withstand any temptation."

— James E. Faust

General Conference, April 2002