Once and for All
By they_speak
9/28/2012 2:36:47 PM
Why can't there be room for once and for all for an addict? Right now the idea of committing to being sober once and for all would be is my only solace. Committing to never hurting or betraying my wife or myself like that again once and for all is my solace. Committing to my drive for things greater than myself and enjoying the ensuing fruits once and for all is my only solace. To be able to say with Elder Eyring "I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made; I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tinted visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am lifted up in prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my goal is heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided or delayed, will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table with the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me and when He returns for His own He will have no problem recognizing me”...once and for all is my only solace. And yet because I'm an addict, or so it seems my history has proved, I can say non of this...I am left comfortless. Though I may preach and teach and do the works of an apostle one day at time there will always be that day looming where "Satan enter[s] into [Cody]" and all is lost. No once and for all. No solace. My heart is so broken. I could die.


Amen, Good stuff.    
"Not just us addicts, though. I think there is always danger in mortality. Maybe some people do transcend but are they ever really out of harms way? Apostles have taken some of the worst falls. Or is "once and for all" longing for a righteous death and an end to the struggle?"
posted at 15:42:22 on September 28, 2012 by Anonymous
Good question.    
"That's a really good question. Profound to me for what ever reason. Funny you should mention that death and an end to the struggle. I watched a guy shoot and kill himself today live on the news. I saw a tormented man running aimlessly from the cops, tripping over himself, and then stop, lower his head and pow. Lights out. Just like that. And the first split second feelings that came over me - peace. To no longer have to fight. Like clicking off a t.v. on the snow/static channel at full blast. Bazaar. I don't mean to be dramatic. It's just what happened. May need to check myself there."
posted at 16:08:49 on September 28, 2012 by they_speak
"we will always be at war with the flesh til we we gotta do the best we can, rely on grace...keep working the program, and hopefully we can over come our issues. paul never had his thorn in the flesh removed...keep at it buddy"
posted at 23:38:59 on September 28, 2012 by skyteamst90
"Progress not perfection....

Just my view--take what you want and leave the rest--

I saw a bookmark once that had a quote by Gordon B. Hinkley: "Just do the best you can, but be sure it is your very best." I mean, what else can we do? Yeah, you're going to screw up. We all do. But if we do our best, He can make up the difference. You are a child of God and you are loved. God can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves."
posted at 13:39:42 on September 29, 2012 by g1rlie
Lots of good points    
"G1RLIE, SKYTEAMST90, THEY SPEAK, excellent comments, death is not an end to struggles, we are always at war, and we do need to strive to do our best, not what someone may say is mediocre best, but to our true selves, we know we can do better. I was there in Window Rock on my mission when President Gordon B. Hinkley said: We all can do better at living the gospel, I can, you can. So if a prophet of the church says he can improve, wow, what does that say about me, I can really improve. All my love and support to all of you, thank you for expressing your thoughts, feelings, support, I love to know how you are feeling, your feelings matter! We may be different, but we are all Sons and Daughters of a Loving Father in Heaven trying to learn and grow, we can do better."
posted at 00:41:28 on October 2, 2012 by LDS_BROTHER

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"I have come to know that thoughts, like water, will stay on course if we make a place for them to go. Otherwise, our thoughts follow the course of least resistance, always seeking the lower levels. Probably the greatest challenge and the most difficult thing you will face in mortal life is to learn to control your thoughts. In the Bible it says, as a man ‘thinketh in his heart, so is he’ (Prov. 23:7). One who can control his thoughts has conquered himself. As you learn to control your thoughts, you can overcome habits, even degrading personal habits. You can gain courage, conquer fear, and have a happy life. "

— Boyd K. Packer

BYU, Speeches of the Year, 26 Sept. 1967