Afraid to trust God
By man4healing
9/11/2012 12:36:23 AM
So, for those in 12-Step, Steps 2 and 3 basically require some sort of trust or "letting go" and trusting God for healing, love, goodness, and that he will "restore me to sanity," etc.

I am learning just how much I don't trust God. When I look back at my life thus far, and all of my losses, pain, tears, and the deck of cards I had to work with even from childhood--ALL OF WHICH GOD ALLOWED--things such as my father abandoning me before I was even born, and other circumstances that facilitated my growth and development with a very warped sense of gender identity and a host of other issues--I see all of this that God allowed, and then I come to recovery and I am just supposed to drop it all in God's lap, "let go and let God," and TRUST that the same being who allowed all of this and more is going to heal me? Save me? ALWAYS be there? Never leave me? SERIOUSLY?!?!?! What is he going to ALLOW to happen next? What will be taken away next? What pain will he "require" next?

Yes I know I have resentment towards God for certain things in my life. I also know resentment is a killer and comes between me and him and between me and surrender.


Sometimes it's hard to see...    
"Take what you want and leave the rest...

I've wondered WHY things happen so often. Why did this happen do me? How could this person do this to me? Then I realized...

In God's Plan of Happiness, he told us we would be able to come to this earth and that we would get to make our own choices. The plan of the adversary was that we not have choices. And not only do we, personally, have choices, but those around us are also free to make their own choices, whether those choices are good or evil.

God knew his children would fall short. All of us fall short. But He also made a way for us to become entirely whole again. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins that we may repent. Jesus suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane not only for our sins, but also for our sorrows. He is One who truly understands us. He has been there.

And one day, like Revelations 12:4 says: "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.""
posted at 14:38:34 on September 11, 2012 by g1rlie

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"Freedom from your transgression will come through sincere faith, true repentance, willing obedience, and the giving of self. Why the giving of self? Because selfishness is at the root of your problem. Where selfishness and transgression flourish, the Spirit of the Lord can’t enter your life to bless you. To succeed, you must conquer your selfishness. When your beacon is focused on self, it does little more than blind your vision. When turned outward through acts of kindness and love, it will light your path to happiness and peace. "

— Richard G. Scott

General Conference May 1990