i am now leaving my life as i have known it for 40 years
By 1Dayattatime
8/3/2012 3:46:16 PM
I have posted on this site a couple of times when I learned in January that my husband was an alcoholic. He has since been thru rehab aind he says he isober now. But what do I know?

We have been married for over 40 years. We were high school sweethearts. We have 5 daught ers and19 grandchildren.

We were married in the Temple and have been active since.
I walked into the den last night and saw he had pornography on the. screen. I started yelling and freaking out and told him to get out of the house. I almost hate him right now! He said if he goes he will be gone for good and I will have nothing. I said get out anyway.

I can't believe all of this. I feel like a fool. A total fool. All of the lying cheating, dishonesty, sneeking around is more than I can take.

Can someone tell me W. H. Y.
He acted likeL I had to accept him doing all these horrible things. Like he could do whatever he wants and I just had to take it.

Where has his spirit gone? What am I to do?


I'm sorry    
"I'm so sorry to hear what's going on. I know how hard that is. I recently had a similar experience and it's heartwrenching. I'm more sorry to hear that it sounds as if he doesn't want to change. That's tough.

My #1 first advice is to pray about this. Get on your knees and pour all that anger out to your Father in Heaven. It's ok to express anger to Him. Sob your face off and just burn off all the anger and hand it to him.

I understand that splitting might be tough - but it's ok to set boundaries. It's actually important to set boundaries. In our household we have internet protection software on all of our computers and devices. It's ok to require that on anything in your home.

Do you have family support meetings in your area? I'm in Utah and we have plenty here. Do you have a sponsor? They have a sponsorship program even with the family support meetings. I know my sponsor has really alleviated a lot of my stress and anxiety many different times.

Here is a scripture that has really brought me peace in times like this...

D&C 123:17
"Therefore, dearly beloved brethren (sisters, or insert your name), let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed".

So you do everything you can do to stay in accordance with the Savior and then let the Savior do the rest. Remember, even if you let go, the Savior will still hold Him. And He will hold you too.

Chin up:-)

posted at 21:16:34 on August 3, 2012 by siouxsie
"Thank you. I love that scripture. I will try to be led by the spirit in everything I do in this situation. I'm human. I'm devastated.I can this burden with help."
posted at 20:59:43 on August 4, 2012 by 1Dayattatime
"Yep, that's the ticket! You can do it with the Saviors help. It's understandable to need to vent and whatnot thought so keep coming back and let us help ease your burdens as well!


posted at 22:39:23 on August 5, 2012 by siouxsie

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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987