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"A Man I'll Never Be" - Another of Satan's great lies
By derek
1/26/2007 12:23:59 PM
I've always enjoyed classic rock, bands such as Boston, Journey, Foreigner, and others. A couple years ago I was listening to one of my favorite Boston albums when the words to the song "A Man I'll Never Be" totally jumped out at me.

---------------
If I said what's on my mind
You'd turn and walk away
Disappearing way back in your dreams
It's so hard to be unkind
So easy just to say
That everything is just the way it seems

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am
It's getting harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I'll never be

I can't get any stronger
I can't climb any higher
You'll never know just how hard I've tried
Cry a little longer
And hold a little tighter
Emotions can't be satisfied

You look up at me
And somewhere in your mind you see
A man I'll never be

If only I could find a way
I'd feel like I'm the man you believe I am
And it gets harder every day for me
To hide behind this dream you see
A man I'll never be
-------------

I identified completely with the words and I sat and cried as I listened to the song over and over and over again. I felt the hopelessness of looking into my beautiful wife's eyes every day and knowing that I wasn't who she thought I was and believing that after years of trying, I simply never could be that man. I would never be able to be any stronger, or climb any higher - I was just a failure. And so I continued to hide behind her dream of who she wanted me to be.

I just heard this song again as I sat here working today and it still has the same effect on me, although now it's not because this is how I feel currently, but because I just remember so vividly that hopelessness and despair I felt back then.

The belief that we just CAN'T be any better because we've failed so many times is one of Satan's biggest tools to keep us trapped. And like with so many of Satan's tools, he takes a little bit of truth and then twists it just a bit. Because the truth is that most of us gave up any agency and power over this weakness a long time ago. So, by ourselves, we never can be that man our wives want us to be. But our Heavenly Father has provided us a Savior. We don't have to get any stronger. We don't have to climb any higher. He can be our strength. He can carry us higher. And someday, however long it takes, I CAN be that man my wife sees in her dreams. How grateful I am for my Savior and for his power to make us what we can't be on our own. And how grateful I am for my beautiful wife who stirs in me those desires to be better every time she looks up at me.

Comments:

A better man    
"It was really heartbreaking to discover that the man I thought I had married had such a horrible secret.

I still believe that he had all the good qualities that I saw in him initially, but I am amazed that he was able to hide something so dark without any outward sign.

Watching all the things that he has gone through, makes me admire him even more. Yes, he made some really bad choices a long time ago, and for all these years, he has tried to hide them instead of asking for help, but he is, and always has been, a really good man. Now he's becoming an even better one."
posted at 15:06:04 on January 29, 2007 by sophie
Never Gave up    
"Its nice to see spohie never give up. wow"
posted at 17:24:53 on April 2, 2007 by skyteamst90


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"Nothing is beyond [Christ’s] redeeming reach or His encircling empathy. Therefore, we should not complain about our own life’s not being a rose garden when we remember who wore the crown of thorns! Having bled at every pore, how red His raiment must have been in Gethsemane, how crimson that cloak! No wonder, when Christ comes in power and glory, that He will come in reminding red attire, signifying not only the winepress of wrath, but also to bring to our remembrance how He suffered for each of us in Gethsemane and on Calvary!"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987