By anon16
5/9/2012 11:46:19 PM
I feel like I fail at everything. I've not given in yet, still day 9. There are a lot of things I'm dealing with, don't feel like I'm making any progress, my Bishop doesn't care about me, etc.

A lot of me wants to kill myself. I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't want too.I'm waiting a few days before I'll actually act. I hate feeling so awful even when I try.


"so I feel just like that too. Yeah I feel like a failure, an animal, a loser... I didn't make any progress for years, it only just got worse, even though I talked with my bishop and went to support group for years... For some reason God loves us so much that he will not give up on us even if we bash our head against the wall for years. He loves us and sees us as we really are, he sees past the problem of pornography and masturbation, and he sees the real problems within us that prevent us from progressing. He loves us like watching a 1 year old fall on his face because the child is not used to the new ability of walking. He loves us even when he knows we are not controlling our bodies. Don't give up, bare your afflictions with patience and in due time blessings will come there way. ((and dont get mad like me)) opportunitys may be provided for you to completely stop. know that he loves you and he knows you are struggling, he knows you are sad when you fall, God would not have you be sad, your father would help you back up, just continue trusting him. Only the devil wants you to be miserable... He wants you to give up, he wants you to believe there is no hope, but there is all hope in Christ our savior. Many things we can do on our own, which is fine, but we are here on this earth exactly because there are things we can not do. We need our Savior, cry to him when ever you fall, tell him how you feel and that you are sad, he will hear you, he will help you..."
posted at 00:17:40 on May 10, 2012 by Gondor44646
life is too large to die for something so small    
"expand your views so your not so focused on this. This makes me think, is this why utah is the highest consumer of porn? Are we too so hard on ourselves that we keep ourselves down?

I don't know you, so I'm not going to say your an amazing person and believe in yourself, But I will say that you matter to your family. They love you and want the best for you.

good luck and try to think why you keep messing up. Work on something different because the doing the same thing doesn't produce different results"
posted at 01:21:24 on May 10, 2012 by moronidenovo
Felt Like that before    
"BUT! There are lots of things to do in this life besides ending it!

Go be a scuba instructor in Mexico, Bahamas, Hawaii!
or take up skydiving, and decide to be an instructor.
or Start a Rock Band! Anything to give you some enjoyment!

I haven't been good on my drinking, but I haven't cut myself since last 4th of July! I'm happy about that.
I tried to cover them up with Tattoos, but one look at me and you know, either I was in a POW camp (Rambo) or I lost in a knife fight. Something I wish I could change!

Hang tough, and remember the adversary wants us to be miserable. He has a 1/3 of the spirits under his control here on the earth. They know us, and our weakness's. All we can do, is smile, shake off the bad stuff, look up to God, and ask for help. - R2"
posted at 18:01:24 on May 12, 2012 by r2d2
not doing better    
"I cut myself 18 times on my arm today. Family issues, also messed up, again. The dumb thing is that I cut to distract myself from suicide thoughts. If I had a quick way to do it, I would.

Appreciate your comments though. It's not just this. I fail at everything, this is just the icing."
posted at 19:36:51 on May 15, 2012 by anon16
Anon, please, please, please,    
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There may be a medication you could be on that could completely change your outlook on life and allow you to live a normal life. Some of us have a chemical imbalance that keeps us depressed. Please look into seeing a medical professional before you do anything else. Life shouldn't be this hard and when we start thinking about ending things, it's time to let someone else in. (someone in person)"
posted at 00:41:09 on May 16, 2012 by Anonymous
"None of us have the solutions but He does. Remember that He loves you and always will. He will never give up on you. It can get better. He is the God who parted the Red Sea, calmed the storms, and showed power over death. Nothing is too great for Hin, not even addiction."
posted at 01:00:23 on May 16, 2012 by Hk-47
I can't begin to understand what your going through    
"I don't think anyone on this site can. We are all here because we want to get better and give each other suppor, but I think your situation is out of our hands. You should talk to your parents about getting some help. My mother did when she was extremely depressed, and she credits that therapist for saving her life. There's nothing wrong with help. If you want to talk or just have someone that will listen, my email is Moronidenovo @"
posted at 03:09:02 on May 16, 2012 by moronidenovo
"You keep mentioning anon16s family. I could be wrong, but I think her family is a big part of her problems right now and talking to her family about her issues could make things worse. Talking about her family as if she has a loving, supportive one probably doesn't help either.

I know you mean to help, so I didn't say anything the first time. I thought you ought to know .."
posted at 18:23:17 on May 16, 2012 by beclean
"Definitely seek Medical assistance. You are NOT a failure, you just need medicine. Your brain is lying to you.

Ask your Bishop for help paying for doctor and medicine and counseling. We all know he cares about you. Tell him about these thoughts and plead for medical help.

Please! Get your bishops help Now.

We love you! I know some people don't like that word, But I'm not using it loosely. Think about it, we know your darkest thoughts, we know your struggles, we know the terrible things you have done, but we still pray for you, we think about you, we talk to you, we hope for you. We have been with you for several months now, and we will continue to be on your team, no matter what you do. What else is love but unconditional support and care?

We love you, Anon16. So does God. You are not a failure in any of our eyes."
posted at 18:27:03 on May 16, 2012 by beclean
I don't know her situation    
"I did point that out, but I stand by my statement that family is the most important thing in the world. I realize not everyone has the best family but I hope everything works out. My second post was saying she should get help, and usually ppl do that through their parents but if she wants to do that with her bishop that's fine too. I mean whatever gets her help.

I@anaon I know a girl who cuts herself, because she hates herself. It"
posted at 19:00:54 on May 16, 2012 by moronidenovo
cut off    
"@anon16 she used to cut herself a lot, but she was one of the nicest ppl I knew. One of the only genuine ppl. Just because you don't like yourself doesn't mean your not a good person. I think a therapist could help you a lot. Good luck, god bless"
posted at 19:02:45 on May 16, 2012 by moronidenovo
"I know. I just can't succeed at anything, really. I hate that - I feel like I always fail.
Talked with my Bishop. He is concerned, but I don't know what he could do exactly. I trust him and know he won't betray my trust, especially with my family situation. He is dealing with my dad on something else and he understands where I'm at.
Sometimes it is really good with my family, but I struggle with my relationship with my dad. Neither of my parents would react well, it is not something that I can bring up.Or want to. I'm heading to college in about 3 months. My bishop feels that I'll be able to get further when I'm not living at home.
Moroni, email didn't work."
posted at 23:47:56 on May 16, 2012 by anon16
Do watever is best for you    
"I think the bishop wants to help you, of course he doesn't want to make things worse by telling your parents.

I'm sorry! I have my email is moronidenovo @ YAHOO.COM not hotmail lol. Shoot me an email when you can"
posted at 00:33:02 on May 17, 2012 by moronidenovo

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"In recent years, as I have sung the hymns of the Atonement, it has been with an especially full heart—and also with full voice, when I can continue to sing—lines such as “How great thou art,” “I scarce can take it in,” “To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,” “I stand all amazed,” and “Oh, it is wonderful!”"

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987