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Today is a new day
By FatherOfOne
4/9/2012 11:22:10 AM
Well I signed up for this site a whole back but I couldn't get my old account. I stopped posting because I became frustrated with myself and writing about it wasn't helping. It has taken a long time for me to get to the point that I could really be in step 1. I wasn't honest with myself or my spouse, but last night conversation happened to turn to pornography and masturbation. A couple years ago I talked to her about it, and for almost a year, we were okay. Then I slipped, but having seen how bad it hurt her the first time I couldn't tell her again, so I vowed that I wouldn't do it again. I did that every time it happened for two years. So last night I confessed to her again, and I am going to talk to the bishop this week. I am more committed now than ever to putting this behind me for good. In reality, I feel like while my addiction is a problem, it is really a problem with my testimony and my relationship with Heavenly Father. I pray that as I go through the steps that I will be able to develop that relationship with him, and allow Him back into our home. My wife is so awesome and supportive, and I love her so much, and I am looking forward to a life without this addiction hovering over me.

Comments:

You can do this!    
"I just got this really happy feeling when I read this. I don't know why. But something about a dad improving himself so that he can have a good relationship with his wife and kid makes me smile. I guess I wish I had that as a kid. Keep it up :)"
posted at 18:51:37 on April 9, 2012 by Iamstrong
@IAmStrong    
"Thanks, man. :) It's been kind of a rough day, but all things considered I'm feeling good about it."
posted at 22:18:05 on April 9, 2012 by FatherOfOne
Never give up.    
"It comes down to what you want more. When ever I am feeling weak or tempted, I ask myself, what do I want more? My wife and beautiful family or this sin that is leading me no where. Your love for your wife and family can become a huge driving force. At the same time there is not one day where I am completely dependent on Heavenly Father to strengthen me in whatever circumstance I am in. Read the most recent talk by Elder Bednar in this month's Ensign. Awesome. Good luck. It is always comforting knowing other Fathers are fighting this together."
posted at 06:50:47 on April 10, 2012 by Leo
Steps    
"What a HUGE step you have taken!! Good for you! Being on the other side and being a spouse- a post like this amazes me. Because my spouse didn't choose me or our kids over porn.
Take faith in that knowledge that no matter how hard it gets- you can face the truth with the Lord to help you!"
posted at 01:10:14 on April 15, 2012 by stoptheabuse


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"Jesus rejected temptation. When confronted by the great tempter himself, Jesus "[yielded] not to the temptation‚ÄĚ. He countered with scripture. Gospel commandments and standards are our protection also, and like the Savior, we may draw strength from the scriptures to resist temptation."

— D. Todd Christofferson

General Conference October 2006