I told my bishop and my wonderful wife.
4/2/2012 3:10:43 PM
I was so full of fear. I am now so full of hope.

I told my Bishop...everything! He was so kind. I knew he loved me as the Savior would.

I fasted the next day and told my wife the next day. I know I broke her innocent heart. I know I have hurt her so bad. I know I am not worthy of her beautiful smile and her tender company. I am so happy that she didn't leave me. Instead she loved me.

It will be a long road of recovery. For both of us. The last few days have been very up and down for both of us. And I am sure that will continue for some time and rightly so. I was so glad general conference was the next day. It helped so much. I truly felt like almost every speaker was talking directly too us.

My heart aches, It hurts so bad, but I know that it is needed. To be honest I am grateful just to be feeling again. And at the same time my heart is so full of hope and I can truly feel the love of the Savior directly and emanating from my wonderful wife.

I have been a fool to ever doubt my wife's commitment to me in the past. I know now that it was my own unfaithful tendencies and insecurities that made me doubt.

She loves me. I don't know how, but she does. She is going to stay with me as I continue to work through it! I don't deserve her. But with God's help and her patience and forgiveness I will at least be worthy of her someday sooner than later!

Thank you all for your prayers. We felt them over the weekend. Please keep them coming.

I know Satan will be coming after me hard and fast! But I am not going to do it alone this time!!

I will be meeting with my Bishop. Talking to my wife. I will be attending meetings and my Bishop will be arranging a professional counselor for me.

If I want a different outcome than I have always had, I need to do something different other than what I have always done!

I am so happy!


The journey    
"Laozi wrote :"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step"

Enjoy your new journey, it is not easy but a wonderful journey with your self and god

May god and our savior bless you

your friend from europe"
posted at 15:27:50 on April 2, 2012 by mike81
Way to go    
"I am so happy that you have been able to begin removing the huge weight that you have been carrying around. I am only about 49 days ahead of you and my wife and I still have up and down days, more ups than down. One thing I have found key is that our communication about everything has improved dramatically. I am 54 days clean and have a great support team the Lord my wife and bishop. Keep the faith and as Jacob says become a fool before God knowing that all we have and need he is in control of."
posted at 17:04:22 on April 2, 2012 by ether 12:27
We are so happy for you!    
"I will continue to pray for your sweet wife -- now is when Satan will make his move towards her. He'll attack HER hard and fast.

Whatever you do, now that you are an honest man again, don't ever give that up! Keep working towards complete truth and honesty! Avoid even small lies.

Sorry for the counsel. I just want you to succeed. I'm very excited for you."
posted at 23:48:30 on April 2, 2012 by beclean
"This is such wonderful news! Hang in there. I'll second what Beclean said about Satan coming after you and your wife. Do you 'daily's and stay strong. Make sure your wife gets a good therapist too. Often Bishops ignore the wife and focus on the addict, but she'll need lots of counsel both ecclesiastical and therapeutic. I am really happy to read about your hope and your confession. !!!"
posted at 06:02:46 on April 3, 2012 by maddy
Fear is of the devil    
"Good for you in pushing past the fear. Walking into your first meeting is much the same, but push that 400 pound door open and you will find the most understanding, non-judgmental people in the world. I recommend multiple meetings a week. If you have the option I would suggest the LDS family support meetings for your wife. Even if there isn't a physical one close enough the Salt Lake schedule on has a phone meeting Wednesday night. It is listed with the other family support meetings.

Isn't that a relief?"
posted at 20:38:38 on April 3, 2012 by justjohn
Love it!    
"Always great to be in on the front end of a success story in the making..!"
posted at 21:33:50 on April 3, 2012 by chefdalet
Thank you    
"We have a long road ahead, but I have been overwhelmed by the Spirit. I have felt the Savior's love for me. My wife and I have always had a strong relationship. It has been a week since I told her now. And I feel like life is already so much closer to how it should be. How it should have been all a long!

I have a standing appointment set with my Bishop. He gave me his cell phone number to call or text at ANY time. I start meeting with a counselor soon. My wife and I are having regular scripture study together, not just passive reading, or quoting a quick verse before bed.
I will start attending groups soon as well. I also have your love and support on this website and most importantly, God and Jesus want me to come home as much as Satan wants me to stumble. God and Christ are stronger and that is where I am putting my faith.

Please continue to pray for me, my wife and little family. Thank you all so much for your love and support!!!!!!!!!!!"
posted at 12:20:25 on April 7, 2012 by WHATTODO

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"Now, my brothers and sisters, let not Jesus’ redemption for us stop at the immortalizing dimension of the Atonement, “the loosing of the bands of death”. Let us grasp the proffered gift of eternal life! We will end up either choosing Christ’s manner of living or His manner of suffering! It is either “suffer even as I”, or overcome “even as [He] … overcame”. His beckoning command is to become “even as I am”. The spiritually settled accept that invitation, and “through the atonement of Christ,” they become and overcome! "

— Neal A. Maxwell

General Conference May 1987