By jja1234
3/15/2012 12:19:57 AM
One of the biggest things that previously kept me from talking with my bishop was knowing I wouldn't be able to partake of the sacrament. I wasn't so much worried about not receiving the blessings (I'm slowly gaining an understanding of the True importance of the sacrament) But Was more worried about what people would think. I guess what I am wondering is how do you deal with those eyes that wander towards you? Or when you are sitting with friends how do you explain why you arent partaking of the sacrament without revealing any true details?


Ehhh, I have family i sit with    
"What will I do then. Is it guaranteed sacrament will be taken away? Sigh, this is going to be tougher than I thought.

I try not to make cliché comments, I dont see the point. Such as "Who cares what other people think" or "Your doing it for you, not for them" and so on. Although they are true, does it really calm your doubts and worries. Probably not, if anything might make you mad. I think at some point, none of us will "care what other people think" and we will "Do what's best for us and not the crowd." but for now, we are young and unwise.

In my opinion, I think we should make it easier for ourselves to come closer to God. For TTT, I suggested he get a blocker for his iPod, he might not have told his parents yet but at least it's that much easier for him to stop Pornography, then he will tell his parents soon.

My suggestion for you, is to make it simple. "I'm trying to fix some issues" or "Just trying to reorganize my life right now" or "Personal problems." You dont owe your friends an explanation, if anything they should know it's personal business.

I hope this helps, its kind of theory but let me know what you think. For me, i dont think this will work because I'm still 17 and my business is my moms business so i have no idea haha. "
posted at 00:42:50 on March 15, 2012 by moroni
Don't let fear control you.    
"I had this fear too. A big part of recovery is replacing fear with faith.

I was afraid that my family or the people around us would notice. The great thing about family wards? Basically everyone is so busy controlling their kids or focusing on themselves that they don't notice. Do you watch others to see if they take the sacrament? No. Well neither do they.

Then I moved away from home. I was suddenly living and attending church with friends. And at a church university where I felt like everyone must be perfect. Guess what? I know my roommates and friends have noticed. I take the tray and just pass it on. They notice. They are the ones handing it to me and taking it from me. But guess what? I have NEVER been judged. Maybe they wonder in their heads what I could have possibly done but they haven't said anything or treated me any differently. I've noticed other people not take the sacrament too. And you know what? I don't judge them. Sometimes I even think higher of them. Because there are a lot of people who haven't confessed and still take the sacrament unworthily. But those people who pass the tray are working at it!

Second question, How do you explain? You don't have to. At all. I have only had one person ask me about it. And that's because they just thought I forgot to take some bread before passing it. I just replied "Oh, I'm not taking it today." And that was that. You don't have to say that you are fixing anything. You don't have to say personal problems. You don't have to say anything.

Now that I've answered some questions, I'd like to just share some advice. I stay on this site because I want you newcomers to know that you can get through this. I have been sober for a while now. I have the sacrament and my temple recommend back. I hold a calling. And I feel new. I still struggle. That doesn't end. I still meet with the Bishop. I still go to my group meetings. But I am new.

Right now, you are hesitant to confess because the Bishop may tell you to stop taking the sacrament for a while. But your sin doesn't appear when you confess to the Bishop. You have that sin right now. So why do you think that you can take the sacrament worthily now? And have you read the scriptures about taking the sacrament unworthily? So either way, confession or not, if you are unworthy of the sacrament. You need to humble yourself (meaning be humble enough that you know you are a sinner, like we all are, and not worry about what others think when they see) and take a break from the sacrament.

Not taking the sacrament really teaches us humility. It really teaches us that we don't make the terms of our repentance. Sometimes we say "Ok I'll change but only if I can do it this way." NOPE! God's the one in charge.

Even though you are 17, Moroni, you don't have to disclose everything to your mom. I mean you aren't doing it right now. If your business was really your mom's business, then she would already know. She would know about your addiction. But I do suggest telling her so that she can hold you accountable at home. It helps a lot. I gave myself internet restrictions and everything but when my mom didn't know and temptation kicked in, it was easy for me to get around them. I needed her help. Humility is about accepting the Savior's help, the Bishop's help, your sponsor's help, and parent's help."
posted at 03:40:21 on March 15, 2012 by iamstrong
"For me, when I had to stop taking the sacrament, I was concerned somewhat. I am in a family ward, but the people I really respect and admire are not busy with their kids. There were times when I would cringe whenever they sat near my family. I was ashamed. My Dad really didn't like it,because of his friends seeing.

I think in a university or student ward I would feel more comfortable passing on it. My parents are hàrder to deal with then my peers.

Whenever I see someone passing on the sacrament, I have a lot more respect for them. While there are some this isn't true of, most are pass I g because they want to change.

Myself, I'm still trying to understand when I'd need to pass on it. I've still not understood the True meaning, as you put it yet. That's impressive that you are."
posted at 07:12:07 on March 15, 2012 by anon16
"I haven't been able to partake of the Sacrament for 10 months. I only have 2 more months to go til I can take it again. At first, I thought of what people would think and I felt embarrassed. Then, I realized, I was fearing man more than God. I now, just pass the tray or say "No, thank you" and that is that. I have never been asked why or judged openly. I think most people are too busy with their own thoughts to even notice. The important thing is that I really listen to the prayer and remember the promises and that helps me to want to keep going through the process so soon I can take it again. It has been hard, harder than I thought it would be, often it sends daggers to my heart. But, in the end, I will appreciate it that much more when I can come to the table clean again."
posted at 07:36:12 on March 15, 2012 by BTTB
True true    
"@IAmStrong Ya I get what your saying. I haven't been to church much, mostly because I do feel guilty for this. Avoiding my problems because I don't know what would happen. In mind I think I'm getting ready, the bishop will ask to talk to me because he did a long time ago but we went to Ogden for a family matter. They've never contacted me since so it has been somewhat easy to avoid them. I'm not trying to justify myself, that's just how it has been for a while. I probably won't tell my parents if I can, but I'm not sure that will sot well with them and they'll bug me about it. Mmm, time will tell I guess."
posted at 11:06:24 on March 15, 2012 by moroni
Show love    
"Sometimes we care more about what others think than what God thinks.

Our precious Savior and King, Jesus Christ never meant for us to use the sacrament to look good before men. In fact we should never do that. Our relationship and our willingness to take His great name upon us outweighs anything anyone may think of us. When we take the sacrament, we are committing to the lord that we will take His name upon us and live by the Gospel of repentance. We are committed to follow him to the best of our abilities. That we have repented and will serve him in all we do.

I remember a 16 year old young lady who use to visit with me as a confidant. I was friends with her and her mother.. One day she told me some pretty heavy stuff and I asked her if she was still taking the sacrament, and she said well yes, my parents sit with me. It was clear that she did not understand why she was taking the sacrament. I shared with her some scripture, such as “For whoso eateth and drinketh my flesh and blood unworthily eateth and drinketh damnation to his soul.” (3 Ne. 18:28–29.) and I explained the purpose of the sacrament.

She understood and stopped taking the sacrament. The next question came from her mother. "Do you know why my daughter is not taking the sacrament?" My answer was yes, then she asked my why and I told her that was between her and the Lord and that when she was ready, she would work that out with the Lord and her Bishop. The mother was bothered, but understood.

It is so important that we take the shame out of "not taking the sacrament". It is not our job as parents to make our children feel worse than they already feel about their sins. It is not out job to hover over and take a survey as to who is or who is not taking the sacrament. I feel that this creates so much shame and fear and stops the progression of everyone involved.

I decided long ago that if my children stopped taking the sacrament for any reason, and I noticed, I would put my arms around them right there and then and whisper , "I am proud of you, I love you". Why? because if they are not taking the sacrament, it means that they love the Lord and that the sacrament means something to them. It means that they understand the purpose for taking it in the first place. I have now had the opportunity to do that with 3 of my children on many occasions and I believe that the love I give them at that moment is the love of God. I do not own my children, they are placed in my care to teach them the way of love and eternal life. They should never be "in trouble" for not taking the sacrament. How sad when someone shames another for this. In my opinion, we have a greater need to repent if we become upset when others do not partake.

I can't tell you what to do if people place shame and judgement. That is truly on their shoulders and not your problem. We are all sinners and all have need for a Savior and at one time or another most of us have need to refrain from partaking of the sacrament. But I can tell you what to do if you see others not partaking.... Don't mention a thing... Just show more love and concern for that person and make sure that you are there for them always. This is the Lords church and this is his will, that we judge not and love more.

BTW, my 16 year old friend is now married in the Temple with a large family of her own and she has turned out just fine.

Sometimes failing is part of the plan. Just be sure to put the Lord and his Sacrament above any people in your life. you do not owe anyone an explanation and when you are ready, speak with your Bishop and let him help you repent. That is what he is there for. he wants to help you become all that God want you to become.

I wish you all the blessings your Lord has in store for you each and every day!!!

posted at 12:47:40 on March 15, 2012 by angelmom

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"You lived with your Heavenly Father in a premortal life. You were there with Him. Your spirit knows what it is like to live in celestial realms. You can never be truly happy in an uncelestial environment. You know too much. That is one of the reasons that for you, wickedness never can be happiness. What a great thing it is to decide once and for all early in life what you will do and what you will not do with regards to honesty, modesty, chastity, the Word of Wisdom, and temple marriage. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006