just a little venting
By churchgirl
12/25/2011 5:53:12 PM
i know that i get on here a lot but that is because the people on here actually get what i am going through. I've tried to explain it to my mom and eventually broke down and wrote her a letter saying that when i was 16 i let boys take advantage of me and that i have taken these issues to the Lord, I'm pretty sure she caught my drift. i just have no clue how to take this issue to the bishop or what to say or how to say what i am suppose to say. i know that i am ready to get this out and finally off my chest for good, because i have let it go on too long and I'm ready to get married in the temple of the Lord. i know that i have let this go on wayyy to long (3 years) and its not good for me at all. but i just don't know how to go about it, I'm really scared that the bishop will tell everyone my secret and judge me behind my back. what can i do?


"The guilt and shame you are carrying are harmful and leaves you more vulneable to Satan. He would like you to believe all the things you are thinking and worse. What is in the dark must be brought into the light and it will lose it's power. I believe the Bishop will ask only for the basic details, be confidential and welcome you back on your journey home. So many of your Sisters in Christ are on the same journey-but due to the love and confidentiality, you do not know. The church does not want to lose or alienate thier youngest members-they wish to embrace them and give them a safe place from the storm of life. Pray about it and you will find the courage to move through and past this trial."
posted at 19:11:17 on December 25, 2011 by NightFury1
Worth It    
"I am 16. My bishop kept it confidential with me, and does not reveal what I tell him.

There is a huge weight lifted off when you confess. It's very hard to describe. It's very hard to do, but it is worth it :)"
posted at 19:31:04 on December 25, 2011 by anon16
"i want the weight to be lifted off, i just don't know how to go about saying something.."
posted at 20:02:15 on December 25, 2011 by churchgirl
"Make an appointment. If you have your Bishop 's number, maybe call him. Say you need to discuss something with him, but need to be discrete.
You can email me about it if you want quiltingbee112
posted at 20:16:28 on December 25, 2011 by Anonymous
Call your Bishop    
"I pray you will go ahead and call your Bishop. I won't deny that it is very difficult to open up to him, but I can reassure you that he will feel nothing but love for you and happy that you have a desire to make changes that will lead you back to the Lord. That's what he is there for. Don't delay. He already knows that you need him to be discreet. He will be. And as for opening up the conversation, just ask the Lord to guide you, and I promise you He will. I can assure you of that."
posted at 21:30:13 on December 25, 2011 by want2change
I've been there    
"Seriously that's why I love this site. Because the people here understand. That's how it is in my ARP group too. But this was super hard for me. I told myself that I would talk to the Bishop for a year before I actually did it. Then one day I had an interview for a calling and I made a promise to myself that I would confess. And I did. I immediately felt a part of the burden lifted. It wasn't all gone. It wasn't even mostly gone. But some of it was lifted. And it was worth it. The Bishop is your friend. He will help you. Don't be afraid. That is what Christ constantly told his followers. Fear not. I also am here if you need someone to talk to more personally. I was in a similar boat. I still am. But don't be afraid."
posted at 23:50:35 on December 25, 2011 by Iamstrong
"thank you so much want2change..
iamstrong: please contact me if you can."
posted at 10:09:25 on December 26, 2011 by churchgirl
Contact info    
"This is the email that I use for this site: . Feel free to email me. You can do this churchgirl!"
posted at 16:04:10 on December 26, 2011 by Iamstrong
We're all different    
"and I'm a spoiled brat spiritually, with gifts and blessings and powers far beyond anything I remotely deserve (and I'm a 60-yr-old man). But as I was preparing to go on a mission, when I was 18 years old, I "began to be sore amazed" with the pains of hell, and I knew I had to go to my Bishop. I had all sorts of wild fears, such as being excommunicated, etc.

I made my appointment and endured this miserable hell, in which the Spirit had brought me to a "lively remembrance of my sins", for 2-3 days in which I could barely function. When I went to speak to the Bishop, it was the most difficult thing I had done in my life. But through many tears and fears and with much spiritual agony, I got the words out and stumbled through my confession.

At the absolute most, it was five minutes later when I felt the entire weight of all my sins gone and I was a free man for the first time in years. And before I left, the bishop told me that I would remember my sins in my mind, but I would never feel guilty of them again. And that's exactly the way it's been, even though I have an mb addiction. The weightier matters have never been brought back to me. And though I feel bad about my mb addiction, I know I am a good person, and so does the Lord.

You're being brought to a remembrance of your sins now. And the time to confess is now. When I speak with my present bishop about my mb addiction, he is not the slightest bit judgmental, though he is a judge in Israel. The way he sees it -- and he told me this -- is that he loves people and he loves helping them get back on the track to happiness, and that's what he feels his job is.

Oh, and one other thing: no one ever found out about my sins, no one. He told no one, not his wife, or any other living soul. You can expect complete confidentiality from your bishop. Please go to him and find the healing that you're crying out for. Remember what I said about only finding out last summer, after more than 40 years, that my best friend had slept with a girl, and how he had served an honorable mission and was even a bishop, after confessing and repenting? I never knew until my friend told me last summer, and I never would have known, had he not told me himself.

You will find that your bishop is there to help you, not to condemn you. God bless you in this matter, that you will have the strength and determination to set up that appointment, and then go in and tell the Bishop those things that you need to say. And you don't have to be graphic, if that's what's bothering you. You can just say what you said above, and then let him take it from there.

I'll be praying for you."
posted at 09:48:37 on December 27, 2011 by dog
Maybe I talk too much    
"but you said above that you don't know how to go about confessing to the Bishop. First of all, as someone mentioned, you just make an appointment with the Bishop. You don't say what it's about, and even if the executive secretary asks (and I hope he doesn't), just say that you wanted to talk to him, that's all. It's nobody's business but your own.

When it comes to what you say when you go into his office, may I offer the following phrases as what you should say: "i have had a trouble some past in my high school years (at age 16)
i got involved with the wrong crowd and eventually did some things that were not pleasing to our Father in Heaven."

That's right, that's a direct quote from you from your first blog on this site. That's an excellent way to start your confession, with those words, or words like that. Let the Bishop take it from there. He's inspired and will help you find healing through Christ's atoning sacrifice. The Savior has already suffered for your sins, and he has already suffered for every pain and heartbreak and disappointment that you will ever suffer, including the embarrassment and shame that you feel now, and any that you will ever feel. He suffered exactly what you have suffered and will suffer, so that He can heal you. So don't let his suffering be in vain. Avail yourself of the opportunity to confess and be healed now."
posted at 10:48:56 on December 27, 2011 by dog

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"Each one who resolves to climb that steep road to recovery must gird up for the fight of a lifetime. But a lifetime is a prize well worth the price. This challenge uniquely involves the will, and the will can prevail. Healing doesn’t come after the first dose of any medicine. So the prescription must be followed firmly, bearing in mind that it often takes as long to recover as it did to become ill. But if made consistently and persistently, correct choices can cure. "

— Russell M. Nelson

General Conference, October 1988