i want to give up
By anon16
12/22/2011 7:08:48 PM
I am not entirely sure why. I am considering doing something I haven't done in 3 years. Binge for several days in a row, and exercise no self control whatsoever.

I asked my bishop how much it would set me back if I just gave in for a few days. Now I regret asking, but I can't unsend it.

Tonight I am out, so I don't have an way to mb, I don't think.

My counselor said that it would not help whatsoever. Do I agree? Somewhat. But I need the guilt, as a motivation. Because I don't have one right now. At this point, I do not have a strong enough testimony of the atonement to repent, so why bother? I am removed from the consequences and wonder if i need to experience them again so I can quit once and for all


I've read a bunch of your posts...    
"This is just my thought.
#1; you're fighting our carnal nature. We all want sex. It feels good. Its like a good dinner, good cooking or cookies....yum...remember that, you're fighting your flesh...our flesh is weak, bit can become strong...the only one that can change natures is christ thru the atonement...controlling a habit isn't going to work...if you truly want to change and stop, you'll have to work....and hard work it will be

#2, I bet that your probably is rooted in "lack of love" in your life. Most peoples it is....Lack from parents, friends, or who ever. That fueled my problem. For years...I just wanted to be loved....but people are imperfect + the world is worse...look at that might help you. Then learn how to be ok with yourself, by loving yourself, and then actually helping other people.

#3 learn to love yourself. This takes work. If you want me to elaborate on this I can.

#4 there's a chance you might never get over this.....paul's thorn in the flesh was never taken from him, christ couldn't get out of his mission, nephi had to endure his crap, so they all had to live with it...much like people have back problems, financial, marriages, job issues, car problems, etc etc that may never go away. And let's throw in health problems too.......So you're challenge will be "GETTING BACK UP" the ENDUE TO THE END deal. Maybe at least right now. This could be your issue or thorn in the flesh. So, you have a choice, love yourself + forgive yourself + try again...-or- stop + lay down.....remember YOU HAVEN'T FAILED UNLESS YOU STOP TRYNG!!!!!!!!!!!!! not saying that you may have the miracle in your life to be made whole + healed...if you have this happen, then you will have a sacred duty later in'll know what I mean when you get older.

#5 you're a good kid. Your problems are actually quite common and normal. Most teens boys + girls both do mb, and single adults, single older adults, so you're not alien or wierd. People just don't talk about it. So cut yourself a break.

#6 get a hobby....a couple!!! Your key to recovery lies in this. journal write....sing, paint, make scrap books, golf, play an instrument, run, geo catching, planking (safely tho), dodge ball, build models, magic tricks, chess club, volleyball, push ups, sit ups, walking, cooking, drawing, hiking, bird watching, collect stamps, sewing, collect coins.....something....go to a hobby store and take a look around + see what interests you, and will make you feel better + be better....

#7 do your dailys, pray.....pray on knees out scriptures....repent daily. Say something nice to yourself...same something nice about someone else
Write in your journal 5 things you are thankful today...

#8 serve....ask ur bishop of someone in your ward that needs help, help with babysitting dishes, laundry...maybe you can plug into that + help some one...

That's all I'll say. I've said a couple deep things and a couple easy things. Just my opinin + everyones got one...

D+C're loved. Remember that....

posted at 19:46:08 on December 22, 2011 by skyteamst90
He Loves You    
"Warren said some great stuff. I especially liked his suggestions that you learn to love yourself, get a hobby, do your dailies, and serve.

Just know that we are praying for you, and we love you.

But more important, your Heavenly Father loves you, and so does your Savior, even when you choose (as we all do) to be selfish.

In our ignorance, we frequently slap the Savior, spit in his face, and watch with indifference as the soldiers drive nails into his hands and feet. He still looks at us and pleads with His Father, "Forgive Them..."

Some day we will understand what He has done for us and just how much WE deserved to be on the cross, not Him. When we do, we will run to the One who has bought us for a price and say, "I am yours. You own me. Do with me what you will." And He will open His arms with love and invite us in. He just wants us to be happy, and His commandments are the only recipe for true happiness. Wickedness never was happiness.

The fact that you posted on this site BEFORE you gave up, when you were just THINKING about giving up tells me that you don't REALLY want to give up. Your body does, but the real you (your eternal, immortal spirit) doesn't want to. You are just being tempted to. I can understand that. I was tempted this morning, and I told my wife. Talking to her about it, and feeling her support made it go away, in my case.

You are a great girl, a truly good person trying to change. Talk to the Lord. Talk to your counselor. Talk to your Bishop. Immerse yourself in the suggestions of Warren, above. Sure, you could medicate and take care of this depression or loneliness or whatever it is temporarily with mb--but then you will still be a slave to your body. You can also take care of this by trying something new. It's your choice."
posted at 20:15:05 on December 22, 2011 by beclean
"That helped a lot, thank you. So far I have not given up, on day 22 so far. But it is tempting to just give in.

The thing about temporary vs long lasting is a sticking point for me. That is something that really bothers me, and when i made a list of prons and cons, that was the biggest one.

Part of me wants to see if this is an addiction or not. But I would be fighting myself, because sooner or later my conscience wakes up. And then I feel really bad about it. And a lot of me wants to get that point across to myself. But I realize at the same time that I will get struck on the sensations and emotions it arises. And i hate that.

I pushed my bishop this week. And i really hope I haven't screwed up with him. But I may have. Pressure does not help. The major depression I had this week doesn't help. And if I am put in the rright position, I'm going to fall big time"
posted at 22:27:33 on December 23, 2011 by anon16

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"Just as the landfill requires dedicated work and attention, laboriously applying layer after layer of fill to reclaim the low-lying ground, our lives also require the same vigilance, continually applying layer after layer of the healing gift of repentance.…Our Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, feel sorrow when we choose to remain in sin, when the gift of repentance made possible through the Atonement can clean, reclaim, and sanctify our lives. When we gratefully accept and use this precious gift, we can enjoy the beauty and usefulness of our lives... "

— Shayne M. Bowen

General Conference October 2006