Day 1 (again)
By Ymir
12/11/2011 6:36:27 PM
So I failed it. I didn't make it. I'm not learning. I'm not really understanding what's going on... I think I'm doing so well when it's the afternoon, but evening rolls around, and I just lose it. I guess I can only go around 3 days now... hopefully I can kick the habit by January, so that next year I will be habit free. That's the idea anyway...


Why are you kicking the habit?    
"I feel like the difference between when I'm learning and not is when I have a good reason. For years, I tried to kick the habit because I was told it was wrong, or to live up to people's expectations, or to get rid of the guilt. But those reasons weren't good enough. I obviously didn't care enough about that. Now that I know who I am and that I have a purpose in life, I care. I know that I am on this Earth at this moment to make an impact, to do great things. I have a list of the great things I want to do. And addiction stands in the way. So when I get tempted I think of what I would be giving up. That is my good reason. I hope you can find your reason, whatever it is."
posted at 22:52:39 on December 11, 2011 by iamstrong
bit by bit    
"Strong raises a powerful question. Why? Why do you want to be free of this?

Ymir, sometimes a goal like a habit free year is good for some people. BUT sometimes it is destructive too. I've found that taking it one day at a time works really well. No more than that. Of course, do what works for you!!!!! But sometimes it helps to wake up and say, "Today I will be habit free! No matter what!" and just muddle through bit by bit. Then I do it again the next day. I can handle one day....but "never again!" can be too ambiguous.

Hang in there. We do recover if we work the steps."
posted at 22:10:08 on December 12, 2011 by maddy
"I can't get past step 2, because for me, step 3 is impossible."
posted at 23:19:56 on December 12, 2011 by Ymir
Non religious    
"Ymir, there are nonreligious versions of the 12 step program. I bet if we searched around then we could find one that would work for you. Don't get bogged down by the things you don't believe and work what you do believe. Also, you don't have to do these steps consecutively. In so many ways, you can just skip 2 and 3 and more straight to 4. Or jump to 12! It doesn't matter how you do it. I certainly don't work my steps in 'order'. Anyway, just remember there are plenty of atheists that live solid recovery. Why not you?"
posted at 07:41:12 on December 13, 2011 by maddy

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"If, through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. As with the real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your premortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him. "

— Robert D. Hales

General Conference, April 2006