Day 24 and still doing well
By dstanley
12/17/2010 11:46:37 PM
I just thought I'd check in and say that recovery is still going well. I went to ARP on Wednesday and ended up sitting next to the guy who had triggered me a few weeks ago. I had a little bit of a hard time when he shared that his divorce is now final, but I kept my head in the right place. I felt really really good about it afterwards.

I am struggling a little bit emotionally. Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my father's death. This time last year I was in a hospital with my two week old, getting ready to say good bye to my father (he went into the hospital unexpectedly and was on life support). I miss him so much. I've got some potential plans for tomorrow to try and keep busy and not get too upset. I'm a little nervous because I don't do sober as well when I'm sad, but I think I'm going to be OK. I don't want this to ruin my Christmas present. I'm going to make it through this.


Dear Sister D    
"First congratulations! You show such amazing strength.

I feel for you at this time, I know it will be difficult. I mourned so in my Fathers passing because I felt that he was the only mortal who loved me for who I was. Simple yet complicated. I am sure you understand.

I copied a post I put on Humbled's Blog. I thought it might be helpful for you. My love and prayers to you.

During the recovery process, whether it is for alcohol, drugs, sex or food, H.A.L.T. has been used in support group settings to stand for Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. These are important things to avoid for the recovering sex addict as well. Simply put, keep yourself eating
regularly and properly. Do not allow yourself to get too hungry, which may make your more susceptible to less logical thinking. Some researchers believe eating certain foods can help you in recovery. A book that addresses this aspect of recovery is Help Yourself, by Joel Robertson and published by Thomas Nelson Publishing.

Anger can sneak up on you quickly and put you in an emotional state of “I’ll show you.” You could begin to rationalize why it might be okay to act out. Some sex addicts have a whole system where they purposely start a fight with their wife, leave, act out and come back later,
justifying their acting-out behavior, because they were “Angry.” Anger can be an important piece of managing your recovery.

Lonely is a difficult feeling for the sex addict to handle. Feeling alone can make the sex addict vulnerable and create a desire to medicate by acting out. When you get lonely, it may be helpful to have an action plan or an “I-will-do” list available in your wallet. Some other suggestions
are listed below.
1. Go to a public place, such as a mall, restaurant, etc.
2. Call someone in the program.
3. Plan ahead to avoid your alone time gaps, such as weekends or when your wife
may be out of town.
4. Exercise.
5. Help someone else with a project.
6. Go to a meeting, church or other social gathering.
7. Pray.
8. Ask others what they do.
Being “Tired” in your busy, fast paced life is a familiar feeling. Tiredness can lower your resistance to the point of “who cares.” To recover, we need to stay alert. Our sex addiction is a default program that desires to be fully activated anytime it can find an outlet. To prevent tiredness, get regular sleep. If you need to rest here or there, do so if possible. List your action plan for the following:
Hungry -
Angry -

I hope this will help you in your planning for this day to show your strength and reliance on our Savior Jesus Christ.

If you need someone you can contact me on

Love and Prayers to you!"
posted at 00:33:37 on December 18, 2010 by Hero
Go D!    
"I was thinking to myself about the Christmas story the other day. I am reminded of how the 3 Wise Men brought gifts to the Lord on June 6... I mean... Christmas ;)

I can't help but relate your gift of 1 month sobriety to their gifts. No doubt clean hands and a pure heart, our wills turned over to Him, are the gift He desires. And you are giving exactly that.

Thank you for your example and strength D. You are in my prayers!"
posted at 22:06:16 on December 18, 2010 by paul
Made it to Day 26    
"Thanks! Yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I realize I probably should have given myself and God a little more credit and been a little less worried, but better safe than sorry I suppose. I cried when I thought about my dad, but I kept pretty busy too. So I'm on to day 26, less than a week to go for 1 month. :)"
posted at 11:21:08 on December 19, 2010 by dstanley
"Praying for you. Cheering you on."
posted at 15:32:16 on December 20, 2010 by lawrence
"Good job ds! You can make another choice. You don't have to rub one can keep it together."
posted at 19:12:30 on December 22, 2010 by skyteamst90

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"Brothers and sisters, stay on the straight and narrow path. No, stay in the middle of the straight and narrow path. Don't drift; don't wander; don't dabble; be careful. Remember, do not flirt with evil. Stay out of the devil's territory. Do not give Satan any home-field advantage. Living the commandments will bring you the happiness that too many look for in other places. "

— Larry W. Gibbons

General Conference October 2006